How to Discipline Your Child

Listening, learning, and observing your children are very effective ways of getting them to open up to you when disciplinary action is require to getting your child attention. Giving your child your undivided attention by listening is the first thing you should consider doing when things become tensed; lending hearing ears helps makes disciplining become less painful for yourself and your child. Your child or children need to vent to release the tension “build-up” they are experiencing themselves after a hard day at school. Every child has their side of the story of what took place whether at home or at school. By lending hearing ears you have the opportunity to analyze the situation at hand. Give your child ten to fifteen minutes to explain their side of story. This way you will learn exactly what took place after hearing what your child has shared with you. Most parents blast their children and give orders and strict disciplinary actions without getting all the details of the incidents that has taken place in their child lives.

By listening and learning about how they’re day went, you can now observe and get a clearer picture of the episodes of the day your child is sharing with you. The more your children share with you the easier your job will be when deciding what method of discipline you choose to use. Discipline means “to teach and to train” let your children learn from their own mistakes. However you have to be willing to teach and train your child so they will not make the same mistakes over and over again. Your child will see you as being fair and loving while providing stern but loving actions to help strengthen their character and development. Disciplining your child is a must; however make sure you do it in a loving way. I’ve experienced this type of disciplining and it helps me as a single-parent to keep my child on the right track when she loses focus. Use whatever disciplinary action you feel will be most beneficial for you and your family.

By doing so; your child will always come and let you know how they’re day went and share with you everything they really want and need to talk about. Open your eyes and your ears to hear from your child; this way you will be able to give correction and proper guidance. Your children are here to bring you joy. Enjoy your child or children and always be open to their “well-being.” Your child or children are an asset to you and not a liability. Look, Children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of your womb is a reward. Psalm 127:3. If you are struggling with your parental rights and responsibilities sign-up to receive tips on life in general and I can help you with your parenting concerns.

Copyright © 2007 Clark A. Thomas

bombard families with many challenging behaviours. As parents, we are delighted if their behaviour is mostly positive. But what if your kids constantly display harmful behaviour? How are you going to deal with it?

It can get frustrating for a mother who is yelled at every time she says ‘no’ to her child.

In my clinic, I’ve seen parents who feel desperate when their son or daughter who used to behave like a “saint” is now disrespectful, oppositional, and threatening. Some are at a loss finding the right solution to their child’s misadventures.

As parents, what are your options?

Establish a Hierarchy of Consequences for Inappropriate Behaviour

Different behaviours require varying degrees of discipline. There is no single method effective for all individuals and all types of unacceptable behaviour.

One helpful way of instilling order is by creating a graduated form of discipline — from a simple and effortless method to a more serious way of dealing with it.

Ignoring the Behaviour

Certain behaviour becomes worse if you pay attention to it. Temper tantrum is one example. One way to deal with some behaviour like temper tantrum is to ignore it. Don’t give in. Try to look away and don’t smile. Focus on what you’re doing rather than on the child’s behaviour. Don’t try to please.

I’ve seen many children stop their inappropriate behaviour almost instantly when they don’t get what they expect which is attention.

Granny Gestures

This is the second line of offence against inappropriate behaviour. This type of discipline can deal with both major and minor infractions. Granny gestures simply show to the child the target behaviour is not acceptable.

Such gestures simply involve hand movements such as waving the right pointing finger back and forth after an incident. And it should be done immediately after an inappropriate behaviour. For instance, when your child is not cleaning up or not making the bed, wave your pointing finger.

Counting One to Five

Counting one to five is the next level if your child remains defiant or unresponsive to your granny gestures. This requires a reminder that the unacceptable behaviour still exists and if it continues after you count to five, then a more serious form of consequence will be enforced.

Also, counting provides your child the time to think and to realize his or her mistake. It gives your child the opportunity to change.

Time-out

Time-out is a more serious form of discipline. If the inappropriate behaviour persists, you tell your child to go to one corner of your house. The corner should be well lit, safe, and not isolated. It should be a place where you can still see what your child is doing. During this time, don’t give any toy or reading material, and avoid communicating with your child.

What should be the appropriate duration for time-out? In my opinion, the duration should depend on the nature of the infraction, the frequency of such infraction, and the age of your child. If your three-year-old child is having a tantrum, a three-minute time-out is proper. But you can stretch the time to four to five minutes if the infraction is major, for example stealing. Use your judgment.

Taking Away Privileges

Taking away privileges requires that you first identify your child’s hobbies, likes, and interests at home and that you take one or more of them away for a certain time as a consequence of inappropriate behaviour.

For instance, your child has repeatedly stolen and hasn’t responded to above measures. You can then take away his or her computer privileges for one night. Take away the toy or activity that interests your child. Taking away privileges should be time-limited, realistic, and feasible.

In summary, discipline needs simple, practical strategy. Shower your children with love and affection. Give them toys. But be firm and consistent. Remember, discipline is not only for their well-being. It also benefits your family and the whole community.

Hollywood doesn’t want to admit it, but numerous studies have shown that children become more aggressive, angry and even sometimes violent when they are exposed to television violence and the results are seen almost immediately. Children’s minds are very impressionable and they learn by modeling the behaviors of those around them. Think of a baby learning to talk. The baby learns to talk by copying first sounds, then words and phrases and finally sentences. Children learn just about everything from watching the world around them and that includes what they watch on TV.

If they are watching television programs where violence is shown as the answer to every problem, they are more likely to react with anger, aggression and violence to the circumstances in real life. This is a very unhealthy pattern to begin as a child. Children need to be shown the proper way to deal with anger both in real life and on television. Many of the old-fashioned television programs did an excellent job of this. The main character almost always faces some sort of crises, makes the wrong choice and has to learn a lesson from it. Often the end of each program showed the parents talking to the child about how they could’ve handled the problem differently.

Does this mean that we should never let our children watch any programs with violence? It is something to consider, to be sure, but depending on their content and message, watching some of these programs together may provide the opportunity to talk about dealing with anger in more constructive ways. Having the opportunity to evaluate why the characters behaved the way they did and what the outcome could’ve been if they had made better choices may help your child to deal with angry feelings more effectively.

Television violence certainly affects children, but maybe not as much as our own behavior. Even more important than what our children are watching on TV is what they are watching in our own homes. It is important to model good behavior, including being able to admit when you are wrong and apologizing. Never expect a child to do something you don’t teach them to do through your actions. Actions not only speak louder than words, they teach far more effectively as well. Letting good behavior rule both in real life and on the television set will greatly increase your child’s ability to handle themselves appropriately.

Studies have definitely taught us that television violence affects our children. How much is too much? Certainly children should never watch violent programs that are intended for adults. Most of the time adults would be better off not watching them either, but the violence is too real and can cause not only aggressive and violent behavior, but depression and anxiety as well. Even children’s programs that focus on violence, such as Power Rangers, should be monitored and viewed with caution. If your child acts out after watching these programs, that is a good sign that they shouldn’t be watching them. Common sense needs to be the guide, but take the time to be aware of the connection between television violence and anger problems and using opportunities to communicate with your child can make all the difference.

My Foreign Bride

1. Learn Responsibility – Horses will teach your child responsibility very quickly. Make sure that your child does all the work involved in caring for the horse. Everything from feeding, cleaning stalls, grooming, saddling and riding. Children will want to ride but they may not always be eager to do the work. However children almost always fall in love with the horses that they handle and they will want to take as good care of them. Once they know that the horse depends on them and that in order to ride they have to take good care of the horses, they will learn to be more responsible in other aspects of there life.

2. Learn Trust – Horses must be able to trust their handlers. One of the first things that your child will learn about handling and riding horses is to be trustworthy and dependable, because if the horse doesn’t trust its handler it will not obey him/her. This can be a very valuable life long lesson for your child.

3. Learn to be Open Minded – Every horse is different and will have to be handled differently. A good horseman never stops learning, even experts and trainers will admit that they learn something new everyday from their horses. Horses will make your child realize that learning is an on going process that never ends. This can transcend into other aspects, such as school and relationships.

4. Build Confidence – Horses are large and intimidating, so naturally it takes a lot of confidence to be able to control one. Letting a your child handle a gentle horse will do wonders for their confidence. Most people are naturally a little bit timid, especialy a child of horses because they are so big. By handling a gentle horse children will overcome their fear and learn that they can safely handle and control the same animal that they were once had great fear of. The better your child learns how to handle the horse, the more confident he/she will become. When children do well with the horses that they handle, their confidence goes up and their self esteem improves. They now realize that this huge creature they were once afraid of is a beautiful and loving animal.

5. Learn Patience – Horses are like children themselves, and training a horse is much like teaching a child. When your child has become a confident and skilled rider, letting them help train a horse will be an excellent experience for them. Horses require a lot of patience because training a young horse involves a lot of repetition and time. This is a lesson that will follow them in all aspects of life.

6. Self Discipline – Horses take a lot of time and work, so your child will have to be dedicated to learning how to ride and handle horses effectively. I have found that dedication is rarely something that children lacks when it comes to horses. People, especially young people, have a natural attraction to horses and enjoy spending time with them. However, because horses are a lot of work your child will soon learn self discipline. For example, instead of sleeping in in the morning, they will be up and out feeding and cleaning. Horses must be fed twice daily and have access to fresh water at all times. Their stalls must be cleaned regularly and they must receive regular exercise. This will take a lot of time, but most people find that it is worth it for the time they get to spend riding, or just being with horses.

7. Teaches Sensitivity – Horses can be very sensitive creatures. They have keen senses, and can sense if someone is afraid, angry, happy, etc. They communicate with body language and are very sensitive to their handler’s body position. Because horses are so sensitive, the handler must be also. The handler must be able to tell how the horse is feeling and why it is behaving the way it is. The handler must learn to interpret the horses body language and to communicate effectively with the horse using its own language. When a horse misbehaves, the handler must decide whether or not the horse is doing so out of fear, stubbornness, anger, pain etc. and must respond appropriately.

8. How to Learn From Our Mistakes – When your child first starts learning to ride and handle horses they will make a lot of mistakes and will learn quickly not to make the same mistake twice. That is what horsemanship is all about. When a rider makes a mistake he/she cannot deny it. They must acknowledge the mistake and correct it. The rider must move on after correcting the mistake and not dwell on it. Handling and riding horses will teach your child to use their past mistakes to improve their future horsemanship skills and this will tanscend into other aspects of your childs life.

9. Learn Respect – Children will learn to respect their horses and themselves. Horses are large, dangerous creatures and they demand respect, yet in order to be handled safely they must also respect their handlers. By learning how to handle a horse, children will become more respectful of there horse and its nature. By being trustworthy, confident and responsible your child will earn the respect of there horse.

10. To Have Fun – Last but certainly no least, your child should have fun and enjoy being apart of the horse life style. You don’t want to put too much demand on your child, you need to let them have fun with there horse as well as know when its time to be serious.

I hope the information provided here will help you realize how important it is for you to find a creative yet fulfilling way for you to teach your child all aspects of owning and caring for a horse.

Foreign girls