How to Discipline Your Child

Amy was just putting away the groceries for the day when her daughter, Elizabeth, walked into the kitchen demanding the latest iPhone. Amy patiently told her daughter that she had already received another popular – and equally expensive – phone a few months ago; what exactly was wrong with it? When Elizabeth said that all the “cool kids” had the iPhone, Amy felt at a loss for what to do. How exactly did her child get so spoiled to the point where what she “had to have” a few months ago now was just another worthless and outdated piece of junk?

Like it or not, Amy’s not alone in attempting to cope with a spoiled child. Thanks to a culture of materialism, many children now more than ever expect “basics” like incredible gaming systems, the latest cell phones and even the nicest cars available. This turns into the parents buying what seems like an impossibly high mountain full of clothes, toys, gadgets and other items that will only be abandoned months later in favor of the newest trends to hit the mall. If this scenario sounds familiar to you, then you need to do everything in your power to “unspoil” your child before he or she reaches adulthood – after all, a spoiled adult is generally unsuccessful in both professional and personal pursuits, and will find it hard to maintain a lasting relationship.

Before unspoiling your children, you must first need to acknowledge that your own behavior is a primary cause. Many parents buy loads of stuff for their children because they feel guilty for working long hours, or they feel as though buying things is another way of showing affection and love. Not so, say most child experts. You’ll need to work on your own views of love and feelings of guilt before you can expect to successfully “unlearn” spoiled behavior from your children.

Next, you’ll need to set limits with your children – and stick with them! Consistency is key in any form of discipline, especially when it comes to children. So before you cave in to your child’s demands, think about the behavior that you’re demonstrating to your son or daughter – if you flip-flop, you’ll only teach your children that if they stick with it, they can eventually get what they want from you. Sure, your children will throw temper tantrums when you suddenly refuse to get them what they want, but here’s a little secret that they don’t want you to know: children quickly get over disappointments! If your child ignores you or acts angry, let them do so, but have them understand that under no circumstances will you relent on your limits.

Another great way to unlearn spoiled behavior is to have your children get involved with a local charity or volunteering organization. Often, spoiled children aren’t exposed to those with less means than themselves, and find it hard to realize that not everyone is as fortunate as him or her. Spend your weekends with a worthy charity cause or at a homeless shelter, and your child will soon learn that he or she is blessed to have just food on the table and a roof over his or her own head.

Remember, when it comes to unlearning all kinds of bad behavior, consistency is key. Once you’ve set your limits with your child, don’t relent, no matter how tempted you may be – after all, relenting sends the wrong message to your child and will only make the spoiled behavior worse. Above all, don’t forget to praise your child for showing improvements in his or her behavior!

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Disciplining children is a very controversial subject today. Many people are convinced ******** is no different than child abuse. The way some parents spank, this isn’t too far from the truth. However, ******** should never be used in an abusive manner. Doing so will certainly never have the intended result.

The Bible is very clear that ******** — when done properly — is a good and loving way to discipline your child. Proverbs is full of verses that explain why. Proverbs 29:15 says the rod imparts wisdom. Proverbs 13:24 says that a parent who doesn’t ***** hates his child. And Proverbs 22:15 tells us that the rod of correction drives foolishness far from your child.

So how can you ***** your child without abusing them? It’s a legitimate question. Our goal certainly isn’t to beat our children. Out goal is to restore them to righteousness. We want them to repent and turn from their sin.

In the video program A Case for Kids, Tedd Tripp tells us eight steps to help us ***** our children without being abusive:

1. Take your child to a private place. Discipline is not a spectator sport.

2. Tell him specifically what he has done or failed to do.

3. Secure an acknowledgment to make sure they understand what they have done.

4. Remind him that your objective is restoration.

5. Tell him how many swats he will receive. The number will be different for different children. Some require more, some require less.

6. Remove his drawers. You don’t want the ******** to be lost in the padding of his pants. To avoid concerns about sexual abuse, there are two points to consider: If you’re in charge of his hygiene (you change diapers or wash privates), then remove all his clothing. This allows you to ***** lighter with better results. If your child is in charge of cleaning, then leave the underpants on.

7. Restoration — tell him how much you love him.

8. Pray with him.

After you’ve gone through these steps, check your child’s spirit to see if there is restoration in his spirit. If he is not repentant, then you need to go through the process again. Don’t ***** too much at one setting. Some kids are tough and may need to learn the lesson over various offenses. However, these steps will help you follow the Bible’s wise advice about the proper way to discipline your children.

I’ve always found it strange how children born of the same parents and raised in the same household environment can have such differing personalities.

My two boys are a prime example. One has always been a more vocal, more aggressive personality; the other more mellow and laid-back. And I don’t believe it was the result of how they’ve been raised.

Even now, as teenagers, their differing personality traits are still evident. But it was definitely a challenge to handle and parent the more aggressive of my two boys when he was young. So, I thought I’d share some of what I found out about parenting such children.

First, it’s important to understand why children might display aggression or anger. It has to do with language skills, or lack thereof, in young children. Aggression, via actions and temperament, can result because young children do not have well-developed language skills. They may understand what’s being said, but they don’t have the ability to then express themselves verbally with the same degree of competence. That leads to feelings of helplessness, since the child’s feelings cannot be adequately expressed through language. As a result, they “act out” those feelings of frustration, helplessness and anger.

What can you do about it? First of all, you should make sure your child’s language skills are at a normal stage of development, as opposed to being hindered by some sort of disability (hearing, learning, etc.). Even though linguistic skills in children tend to develop at different rates, if you suspect your child’s aggression might be the result of a physical and/or learning disability, consider a visit to a speech pathologist or neurologist to rule out such possibilities.

When talking to your child about aggression, it’s important to use age-appropriate language the child can understand. Begin by first exploring the child’s feelings, and using the words he/she does know to express those feelings, rather than expressing them physically (hitting, biting, etc.). You may even try some role-playing with the child to demonstrate how you would like the child to behave when expressing negative feelings.

Also, be aware of two very important role models that may be working to instill the wrong behavior in children: your family, including any older children in the household; and, of course, the TV. There’s a great deal of conflict and violence on television, and it can often translate into emulated behavior in children. Similarly, the way you and your spouse express emotions and settle disputes can also have a big influence on your children, so keep that in mind. Even changes to a parent’s normal routine (a work schedule, for example) can trigger aggressive behavior in a child, so take this into account as well should you see a sudden change in your child.

Lastly, understand that, like adults, children need to feel they have some control in their lives. Aggression is often the normal approach a young child uses to gain or regain control, so instilling a sense of self-control in children, and consistently reinforcing this over time:

• through your conversations, expectations, occasional interventions, role modeling and discipline

• will help your young children limit or eliminate any aggressive behaviors.

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Spare the rod and spoil the child one proverb says. needless to say, children ought to be disciplined to shape them into responsible citizens.And this responsibility squarely rests on the children’s parents.

The following tips can help you go about teaching your child right from wrong:

Educate your children about the consequences of bad behaviour. It is common that children ,especially the younger ones act out of ignorance.They do not comprehend the grave implications of bad behaviour like escaping from school in the thick of the night.

You ought to express your disapproval regarding the bad behaviour elements they indulge in.This is better than broading over the issue and doing nothing about it. If you are uncomfortable with the friends they keep, let them know and explain your reasons.

Give them an opportunity to explain themselves.

State in no unclear terms that there are consequences of bad behaviour which you willnot hesitate to implement when they misbehave.

Donot stop at making empty empty threats.Children even toddlers are capable of taking advantage of this inconsistency to misbehave.

The methods of discipline you choose should be effective.fo For example with holding toys or favourite playtime activities from toddlers as on way of disapproval of certain behaviour. That is refrain them from indulging in bad habits they may be found of.

The mode of discipline should depend on the age group dealing with canning a one year old just willnot do it.

After deciding on a method, make sure that you are consistent in using it. if for instance the punishment for staying out late is grounding the child, follow through time any of the other children behave this way. Failure to do so will make your children think that you are taking sides.

The age at which you start disciplining is important. You begin as soon as the child starts showing undesirable behaviour and this could be as early as two years of age.

Both parents agree on similar methods of punishment. If you and your spouse donot, chance are that children will manipulate either parent are high. In the end, no disciplinary measures will be taken.

Learn to stand firm, especially when it coms to dealing wity your child’s tantrums. Children should be taught that they cannot always have their own way.

Help your child deal with frustration of not having their way least the bottled up anger manifests in graver consequences.Encourage them to cry but this shouldnot bring your guard down.

While addressing bad behaviour give alternative ways in which you would like your child to behave.You could for instance say, donot play outside when its late, but it is okey during the day.

Toddlers have a less concentration span so when giving instructions ,make them clear and simple.

Donot take sides when dealing with conflict among your child. Let each child give their side story of the story and ask the offender to apologise.

Tell your child that you are against the bad behaviour and not them as individuals, so that they donot wrongly believe that you **** them.

Donot raise your voice or act on a bad situation when you are boiling  with anger. You could badly beat up your child or say things you will regret.

When you notice undesirable behaviour, donot rush to punish the child. Always start off with a warning and then act when it is not heded.

Reward positive behaviour to act as an incentive to avoid trouble.

Compliment your child, especially when you notice an effort on their part to follow the rules.

Set a positive example. Children will always pick more frome their parents do than from what they say.