How to Discipline Your Child

Children and discipline techniques can be confusing. It is often difficult for a parent to select a discipline method that they are comfortable with and one that will work with their child. Discipline needs to begin at a very young age. It needs to start when the child is old enough to realize and to understand that they misbehaved. Discipline does not involve yelling and screaming. It is important for parents to find a discipline method that is age appropriate and effective for their children. Children should understand why they are being disciplined. This takes more time initially, but it is important for them to learn what they did that was wrong, what they should have done, and what they can do to not repeat it again.

It is important to be clear with your children and the discipline methods you are using. Discipline should be focused on the specific behavior and not on the child. For example, when disciplining a child, you want explain to them that their behavior was bad when they did a certain thing, rather than telling the child that he or she is bad for doing the wrong thing. Discipline should focus on the behavior at all times. Children and discipline should go hand and hand with each other.

When it comes to children and discipline, it is very important not to combine discipline with rewards. This can send confusing and mixed messages to the child. For example, if a child is disciplined for fighting with his brother and then the parent immediately hugs and kisses them because they feel guilty, the child will become confused. And, the child will not learn from the experience because of the mixed message they received from their parent. Every parent wants their children to like them, but it is important for a parent to remember that they are the parent and not the friend.

Finally, when thinking of children and discipline, it is vital for a parent to stand their ground and to not make idle threats. Follow through is very important. If a parent tells their child they will be disciplined, they need to follow through with the discipline. Parents also need to stay strong and not be swayed by tears and begging. Discipline is teaching your children the essentials skills that they will need to be successful in life. Discipline has to start when children are young. If you wait until they are teenagers, then it’s too late.

Parenting a ADHD child can be a bit of a rollercoaster ride emotionally. ADHD children can be funny, inspirational creative, and gifted in lots of ways, as well as having challenging behaviors.

A child with ADHD needs special care and attention. Providing the best possible attention and care for your child requires a deep understanding of what ADHD is all about. The first vital step is for parents to learn how ADHD affects their child at home, in school and socially.

Significantly, there are 3 main symptoms of ADHD: Hyperactivity, Inattention and Impulsiveness.

• Hyperactivity – This is said to be the most understood yet misunderstood indication of ADHD. This is the inability of a child to sit still for any period of time. Playing with objects, fidgeting, talking too much, and being in constant motion are some examples of hyperactivity.

• Inattention – This is either the inability to give attention to a specific matter, or flitting from one thing to another. A child with ADHD finds it hard to block out distractions and concentrate on one specific item or task. Some symptoms of inattention are daydreams, distraction from work, making careless mistakes and being disorganized.

• Impulsiveness -This means “living in the moment”. A child with ADHD tends to takes hold of everything that is interesting for him or her. They may immediately grab something without worrying if it might be inappropriate or without considering any consequences that may arise from that action. In short, they act before they think. A child who cannot wait for things, interrupts other people, and answers questions before they’re even finished being asked displays impulsiveness.

These symptoms can make it exhausting and seem time consuming to raise a child with ADHD.

So, here are some steps parents can take to help them in raising kids with ADHD:

1. Join a support group. This can be really helpful as you benefit from the experiences of others and can bounce ideas off each other.

2. Be aware of your child’s ADHD – most of the time they are not being naughty and ignoring or defying you. The reason for their actions is because of the ADHD. It is important for parents to discern the difference between the being naughty and defiant, and the symptoms of ADHD.

3. Just like any family establishing a child-parent relationship is extremely important. For this relationship to work, parents need to make time for their child. The emphasis here is on quality time rather than quantity. An hour spent watching TV together is no the same as 15 minutes talking and listening to your child. Find time in your day to incorporate ways of spending quality time with your child for example around the dinner table or before bedtime.

4. Be a good role model to your child. Children usually imitate the behaviors that they witness so make sure you show them positive examples.

5. It is okay to be firm, yet kind to discipline your child. Be sure to remain calm especially when facing difficult situations. Establish ground rules and expectations about behaviors, be clear on what will happen if these rules are broken and always follow through with the punishment. Just as important is to acknowledge when your child has done something right. Ensure you give them praise and rewards for good behavior too. It is all too easy to focus on the negative and forget the good stuff.

6. Tell your child that you love them. ADHD sufferers are used to hearing how naughty they have been and they can often fail to realize that parents love them. By feeling loved and wanted children’s self-esteem and behavior can improve.

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If you manage to add these approaches when parenting a ADHD child you should find your job as a parent becomes easier and your child clearer on what is acceptable behavior. Stay patient, remain positive and don’t lose hope.

From the Pediatrician…

In industrialized countries, parents may disagree, but our children are some of the healthiest little human beings who have ever lived. Between better regulated food products and diets, very sanitary living conditions, the availability of health care and modern medicines, our kids have it pretty good.

Even so, parents worry. Whenever little Johnny or Julie gets an earache or sore throat, parents react as though their kids have something terminal. Granted, it’s often wise to err on the side of caution, but pediatricians say (when being perfectly candid) that overly cautious parents drive them crazy, while also paying their bills.

Medications are a similar issue, as parents typically want a prescription to fix everything. According to one pediatrician, most children don’t need antibiotics, as 80 percent of ear infections clear up on their own. That doctor’s advice? Try some chicken soup and TLC before the antibiotics and trip to the doctor.

From the Day Care Center…

The biggest pet peeve of Day Care Directors and employees? The parents and grandparents who want them to bend/break the rules for their little prince or princess. According to day-care workers, it’s really not a good idea to make such children feel they’re more special or privileged than the rest of the group. In other words, everyone should have to follow the rules.

Further pet peeves and advice for parents involve picking their children up on time, and taking the time to acknowledge, make eye contact and say hello to the people who spend all day with their children.

From the Babysitter…

The biggest pet peeves and advice from babysitters? If a new babysitter is willing to spend some extra time getting to know you, your children and their routine, by all means, compensate her for it.

Then, don’t be the parent who lingers around to keep an eye on the sitter, instead of leaving as you planned. Sure, it’s okay to call home and check in from time to time, just don’t create the impression that the sitter you’ve trusted to watch your children can’t be trusted. Along those lines, be sure to outline all your rules and expectations, and be sure to include all the phone numbers where you can be contacted.

Peru girls

The training of the physical coordinations of children is most naturally accomlished through the medium of games.It should be fully appreciated by teachers and parents that the playing of these games is not “mere play,” but definite training of the best kind. In many cases there is little else to be done.

The teacher should select such games as are most interesting to her special group and practice these until the children are reasonably proficient in them or until they prove uninteresting.

The games and exercises in written here are for use among mothers and teachers of normal and sub-normal children, the object being to help develop muscular control and to quicken the sense perceptions. The training should commence when the child is three years of age.

The following instructions should be observed:

1. Each one of the exercises should be put before the child in a spirit of play.

2. Absolute simplicity in tlie training is essential. The manner in which a game is played is of more importance than the game itself. A simple game or exercise taught in a complex manner will produce a confusion of ideas.

3. Aim to produce one idea at a time in the mind of the child.

4. In teaching both normal and sub-normal children the personality of the teacher plays an important part. She should be patient cheerful and optimistic, always ready with a word of encouragement when the child fails to produce the desired results; thorough in her methods and with keen power to observe. The mind of the teacher reacts upon the mind of the child: “Education is the process by which one mind forms another mind and one heart another heart.”

5. The principal weakness in most children is their inability to concentrate, and it is only by fixed methods of simple work, elimination of all confusion, and the conviction of the teacher that good results must emanate from her training, that she can develop and strengthen concentration in the child.

The mode of procedure must not vary; children should be lined up in the same way, material of the same color used, and diagrams drawn to the same dimensions each time the game or exercise is used. Should the smallest alteration be made in these details, it will produce a confusion of ideas in the child’s mind and successful training will not result.

6. Make all questions and answers as concrete and brief as possible, avoid superfluous detail and abstract ideas, for these tend to create confusion in the mind of the child.

7. The signal given for starting a game should be brief, as, “Are you ready?” followed by the word “Go!” said sharply and clearly. A signal with too many words is confusing. Always use the same form of signal in starting a game. Should this be changed the game will not start successfully, for the child’s mind will be centered upon that change and he will lose the all- important idea, e.g., the start of the game. A game unsuccessfully started is a failure throughout.

8. During exercises the teacher should observe the reaction and should the children show signs of fatigue or loss of interest, an exercise should be immediately changed.

9. Make all exercises as attractive as possible. Aim to have an air of peace and tranquility in the schoolroom; tension in the slightest degree is disastrous to the training. The schoolroom should be made a pleasure-ground for the child. Bear in mind the best discipline always attends the most successful play.

10. It is not advisable to keep a child for longer than one hour at a session. In a longer session it will be noticed the child becomes depressed or restless and power of concentration weakens. During the session a child should not be kept too long at one exercise; from four to fifteen minutes is sufficient for any of the exer- cises. A game played too many consecutive times in an effort to perfect it, loses its object.

11. Two inactive exercises should not follow each other consecutively.

12. In teaching rhymes and songs, introduce simple action. It will help to develop sense of rhythm and aid the memory to a marked degree. The “Mother Goose” rhymes enclosed herein have been chosen for their rhythmic value and extreme simplicity.

13. In drawing diagrams on a polished wood floor, better results may be obtained by moistening the chalk.

The material used in these exercises and games is very; simple. Bean bags should be made five inches square, of bright-colored cloth of heavy texture, and filled with small, hard beans. The wooden blocks should be eight inches in length, and one and a half inches on each side; the corners should be sharp so that they may be stood on end with- out difficulty. Rubber balls, medicine balls, and baseballs should be regulation size.

Game: Bean Bag Toss. Material: Shallow box, bean bags.

Children sit in a circle on the floor, a distance of three feet from each other. Place the box in the center of circle. Give each child a bean bag. Have the children each throw their bean bag, in turn, endeavoring to get it into the box in centre of the circle.

Note: This game is especially adapted for crippled children and those unable to take part in active games.

Object: Train eye and hand; to stimulate play spirit.

Game: “Pat-A-Cake” Have class seated in half circle on small chairs. Teach children the following rhyme, saying the words slowly and distinctly so that the children may more readily understand, and have them clap their hands in rhythm to the words ; “Pat-a-cake, pat-a-cake, baker’s man. Bake me a cake as fast as you can. Pat it, and ***** it, and mark it with T, Put it in the oven for Tommy and me.”

Object: Memory; rhythm; increase vocabulary.

Game: Medicine ball. Children stand in group at one end of. the room. Teacher throws medicine ball into their midst, the child catching the ball throws it back to teacher, who will immediately repeat the exercise. Encourage children to run after the ball when it falls to the ground. Do not call upon any particular child to catch the ball; by throwing it in their midst and letting those catch it who can, the children will become more alert.

Should a child be very slow, it is well to call upon that child in particular to catch.

Object: Training of eye and hand; attention; spontaneous activity.

Singles Travel

It is never easy to discipline one’s child. You probably know the importance of consistency, firmness and follow through from your own mistakes and experiences. However, it becomes a little more complicated when there are two parents involved. Therefore it is very important for you both to agree with each other and be consistent in your application of disciplinary actions irrespective of your marital status.

Parents need to reach an agreement regarding the disciplining of their child. If one wants their child to rely on them, it is important that both the partners deal with the same situations consistently. In case the parents are divorced or separated, disagreement with one another regarding the upbringing of their child can hugely confuse the child. Regardless of how your marriage stands, it is important to keep in mind your child’s best interests and make concerted efforts to explain to the child the various expectations and rules and the repercussions of violating them. Both should be in agreement regarding the fairness of the intended discipline and both should apply it in a fair and consistent manner each time.

Also, in case there are differences in opinions regarding parenting issues and discipline, it is best to resolve them in the absence of the child. A child can easily manipulate a situation to his own advantage if he senses any discord.

It is of utmost importance to practice what one preaches when it comes to teaching your child good behavior. A child is more likely to learn from your example rather than verbal instruction. It is ineffective and hypocritical to hit or scream at the child. You should decide the importance of a situation and the kind of approach you need to adopt in order to discipline your child. The best thing to do is remain calm while requesting your child to remain quiet and take some time out if your child is getting physically aggressive.

Never forget that things that work in the present might not necessarily work in the future. Each situation demands a different approach and there may be a requirement to modify or abolish a particular rule according to the time and child’s maturity. You need to use your common sense in order to determine the situations in which table manners can be relaxed and bed time rules modified. While some rules might remain the same, others might require modification or abolishment to pave the way for new rules. Irrespective of the situation, it is important for the parents to be unified in front of the child and it is of great value if the parents do not work against each other while establishing discipline for their child.