Archive for December, 2009

Putting Your Home On The Market With Children

Sunday, December 20th, 2009

When you’re getting ready to sell your home, having the property look the best it can is the first task on most people’s minds. Being able to get that done when you have busy children in your home can be hard in the first place, let alone to make it stay in that condition the entire time your home is waiting to be sold. There are a few simple things that can be done to keep your home showable even with little ones living their regular lives. After all, since you’ll be moving them and lots of things will be changed anyway, they should not need to behave like store mannequins.

Getting Yourself Organized is Key

Most children like to stockpile toys. They like variety. What’s often one of the first words they learn? “Mine!” Remember that phase?

As a parent you might have gotten accustomed to the way it looks when the old familiar toys are casually left around the place in disarray, but a homebuyer can easily notice it. Some might be used to that themselves, in their own home, but that is a different story and entirely irrelevant. The very first step to take is to organize your children’s belongings so they can easily be put away and mostly out of sight. This can be handled by things such as toy chests, bookshelves, or big colorful storage boxes. Use storage that fits into the room without becoming the main feature.

Outside as Well

The outside appearance is what gives the initial impression to a buyer and is very important. Find ways to set up, or store, the children’s outdoor toys in a neat and tidy way to present the outside of your house well. Toys that cannot be stored in a garage or outdoor storage do not have to be hidden but must not present a messy appearance.

Cutting Down on Your Excess Possessions

The process of getting rid of belongings that are no longer needed in a habitual manner is just as applicable to children’s belongings as it is to all the other old things. This is a valuable thing to learn even if you are not going to move. Decisions have to be made. Handling the process of letting things go and moving on is a necessary part of life. That can be a growth opportunity for children, though it will be important to get their participation and not force their decisions. That would only interfere with the learning.

Even if you don’t give away or sell anything, though, you’re accomplishing a lot of good if you start using smart storage techniques. Besides, keep in mind that anyone considering the purchase of a home where a family is raising young children will generally be looking for a family-friendly home in the first place. Showing that the children’s bedrooms can store all of the children’s toys and games up out of the way can be the perfect method of showing off your home.

Keeping It Neat

Some amount of discipline will be needed to keep the house in order after you are organized. Trying to keep everything reasonably well organized and clean after it is straightened out can be challenging, but it is not out of the realm of the possible. Once you have your storage in place, keeping everything in order will be a whole lot more manageable. Take steps to limit the number of different things your children are playing with. Try making the goal of keeping the house organized an adventure or challenge for your kids. They in turn might even help motivate you to keep other things in the house in order as well.

Don’t try and keep your little ones from all their regular play just because you are trying to sell your home. There is no need to turn your home into a lifeless clean home where no children can play. That would not be good either for you or the children, and it would not actually make the home inviting. Many people buying a family home are happy to see that a house is lived in, and toys being in use helps with that impression. Just be aware that it should be kept a little on the neater side of normal. Perfection in the placement of all the toys is not expected, and most people know that.

If you have children who are extra wild it might be a good suggestion to put out an extra rug for them to play on that can be put away when the home is shown. Keeping the young artists’ paints and other messy project materials put away while the home is offered for sale might be a good idea, at least until you have moved into your new home.

Patience and a little persistence, coupled with giving a little daily attention to clutter, will make selling your home with young children easy to manage.

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The Effects of Divorce on Children

Tuesday, December 8th, 2009

The effects of divorce on children could be massive, but this could be helped. The most common causes for divorce are family problems, physical or emotional abuse, extramarital affairs, work stress and vices. Below are types of divorces you might want to familiarize with:

· Legal divorce – is the lawful end of your marriage where you are allowed to remarry.

· Economic divorce – involves the splitting of assets i.e.: money and property.

· Co-parental divorce – is a type of divorce where both parents agree to support their child even though they no longer have spousal support for each other.

Common effects of divorce on children are psychological problems, poor intellectual development and affected parent-child relationships.

Psychological Effects:

The psychological effects of divorce on children can affect children as young as 6 years of age. Young children can develop anxiety disorders where they experience overwhelming fear of being abandoned. Their feelings of isolation and sadness can also manifest through other problems such as eating disorders.

Poor Intellectual Development:

Children of divorced parents usually display insecurity, neediness, irritability and a constant craving for attention. These types of behavior consequently lead to aggressiveness towards peers, resulting in poor relationships with others. A child’s cognitive skills can also become poor. His or her overall academic performance suffers, thus leading to low self-worth and depression later in life.

Affected Parent-Child Relationships:

Oftentimes children will blame themselves for what happened between their parents. They also start to question their moral values and become either rebellious or overly obedient at any point in time.

The effects of divorce on children and teens could be negative or positive depending on the child’s coping strategies. Teens often engage in extravagant, promiscuous activities and form no concept of an ideal parent. They themselves are distressed about their future career, marriage and kids. But some do take this as a learning experience and attempt to make better decisions in the future.

Here are common concerns experienced by children of divorced parents:

· Financial worries – Children are especially worried about their future career and finances if they feel that their parents divorced because of money problems.

· Marital concerns – Children usually view failed relationships as somehow having an association with their parents’ failed relationship. Because of this, they tend to question marriage a lot in fear of mirroring their parents’ divorce.

· Role or status anxiety – Children can also try to play the role of either parent in attempts to “mend” their parents’ problems. This is considered to be unhealthy especially in adolescents.

How to Relieve the Negative Effects of Divorce on Children:

Allow your child to speak openly to friends, family members or counselors regarding the divorce in the family. Most children react towards divorce by spending more time outside their home. This can have a good effect, but it can also put them in a vulnerable position where less discipline can lead to drug or alcohol abuse. You should therefore still draw some boundaries and continue building a relationship with your child.

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