Archive for November, 2009

Disciplining Your Child

Monday, November 30th, 2009

How you choose to chastise your infant reflects the morals you desire to teach and what nature of character you want your child to have. Your objectives in discipline are evidently long-term, nevertheless your approach takes occurs here and now. Guidelines cannot delay. Neither can they continue unchanged as your baby grows from one point of maturity to another. Similar to all weighty aspects of raising a child, your goal ought to be to aid your child discover how to internalize the behaviors that will best serve him or her and those around him best.

Discipline is not similar to punishment, although the two are repeatedly confused. Discipline is truly about training your child suitable behavior with the objective that she will finally be capable to contain her own behavior exclusive of outside prodding. You will attain that objective of discipline also by your example, your readiness to risk her short-lived unhappiness to comfort her well-being in addition to the well-being of others, along with your dedication to the long range objectively of raising a self-reliant, thinking, and sensible adult.

Your individual parental technique determines how you discipline chastise your child. You can aid your child select affirmative over negative behaviors by developing a disciplinary technique that is not too stringent or too permissive. Kids raised with inflexible in addition to overly stringent rules ultimately learn to doubt their own emotions and instincts. Countless come to think that exclusive of adult guidance, their choices will at all times be wrong. These kids have developed such an intense desire to delight that they ought to be told precisely what to do in addition to how to achieve it, and are in this manner very susceptible to negative peer demands later on. Other kids raised in very stringent households discover to behave according to the regulations only once they are being watched. These children advance little in the way of a conscience as well as are not apt to develop into self-disciplined adults.

On the other end of the discipline spectrum, an unregulated parental technique allows kids to stay immature and irresponsible. Having hardly any rules to be keen on and inadequate guidance delays the progression of maturity. Kids of overly tolerant parents don’t simply to abide by regulations or to postpone present-day pleasure for future benefit. Comparable to the kids of very stringent parents, they turn out to be insecure; not at all sure of what is anticipated of them or of how to interrelate with others. The halfway point -frequently called “authoritative”-is the better route to raising a well adjusted kid who grows into a self disciplined in addition to self confident adult.

Authoritative discipline will give your growing up child an awareness of refuge that will help her develop emotionally sound. As you cultivate your tactic to chastising your child, aspire toward this halfway point. Become conscious that your toddler will, at least on occurrence, be naughty, and that, as she grows, you will have to make adjustments to your expectations to meet her shifting developmental needs. You’ll in addition have to adapt your technique of parenting to work out with your child’s exclusive personality.

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Nanny Transition: Enforcing Rules and Discipline

Tuesday, November 17th, 2009

One of the hardest things about being a Nanny is that they have no idea on how to enforce rules in your household.  They’ve probably been with different families with different set of rules.  Sometimes, they have their own set of rules.  But joining a family, Nannies wouldn’t know what they can and/or should do.  It should be something that should be discussed before hiring her and there should be constant communication about this.

Here are some tips on how you can make this work for you and your Nanny:

Discuss the rules

Rules are rules and you have to strictly enforce this in the house for your family’s sake.  You can’t afford to have your kids breaking your rules just because their parents are not home.  Discuss the rules with the Nanny and explain on how you implement them.  Encourage her to ask questions if she has any.

Talk to your children about it

It is important to let your children know that their Nanny is an extension of your authority.  Explain to them why you’re doing this because you don’t want your children to feel that you left them to a stranger who disciplines them.  This would help them understand and not feel confused about it.  It’s also a good idea to give your children responsibility in giving you feedback if they don’t like what’s happening if they’re old enough.

Reach a compromise

You can tell your Nanny on what you do to discipline your child.  First, ask yourself if you’re giving the Nanny permission to do that as well.  You’re basically giving your Nanny the authority to discipline your child.  Talk about each of your methods and arrive at a compromise and stick with it.

Share your resources with the Nanny

Do you have a reference like a book or articles on child care that you’re following?  There are a lot of great sources of information that you can get from books, articles or even online.  Some great tips can be found at online sites like www.nannytoyou.com.  Don’t be afraid to share these resources that you have.  Since they’re going to take care of your child, you can help achieve consistency by sharing your tips to them.

Ask the Nanny to observe

Nannies are normally observant.  It would be a great idea to ask them to observe on how you enforce rules around the house.  This would give them a better idea on how you do it.

Following these tips can help you and your Nanny with the transition.  It can be a start of a wonderful relationship built on trust and communication.  It can be hard at first, but it will surely help you in the long run.

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How to Effective Teaching Children

Monday, November 16th, 2009

No parents want their kids to be weaker or less active then their peers. Every child should develop his own talent. However, it is a mistake to count on school discipline alone to mold your kids. Good characters are growing from the combinations of school discipline and parenting.

Due to the daily working load, many parents find weary or losing patience in educating kids. And persistent preaching is generally considered not effective and tedious both by parents and children. An effective and easy way is introducing the element of playing into familial parenting.

Playing, the nature of kids and should not be deprived form a kid’s childhood. Also, knowledge and skills are faster learned in the process of playing. For parents, playing with their children is a pleasure, most people enjoy it, which serves a rest to their heart and soul.

Outdoor activities like go camping on weekends, go fishing, holding a private football match within families and friends, or simply go park. Such occasions all are the perfect opportunities to teach kids abilities, discipline and skills. In a camping, kids knows better about the speaking “no free lunch”, every thing come from efforts. In a competing match, kids should be taught the spirit of team working, in order to win. Fly your imaginations, and every thing can do outdoor.

The best indoor play with kids are assembly 3D puzzles, which are made of high quality plywood and are suitable for people of all ages. Children like playing puzzles, especially the color and shape-riching 3D puzzles. It’s quite a challenge for them without help though. Playing with them to build the puzzle and when it is accomplished, confidence and self proud are formed within them.

Puzzles also enhance the accordance of their hands and minds. The brain uses both sides (right and left) when it sees and thinks. This helps children to better unconsciously take in the content of shapes and colors contained in the puzzles, resulting in improved thinking and reacting ability. Unlike usual puzzle, a 3D puzzle helps kids better understand the space and shape, which will give them an upper hand in dealing with geometry.

Parents will get better results if they mix in telling some stories as well for the kids. Each puzzle should be specially chosen in themes that have either special history or legend. Depicting the stories while teaching them how to build the puzzle, which will make the interesting activity more pleasant. And you may find your kids gaining interests in history or other aspects after that. That is it, to help your kids build a wide interests and hobbies, which will explore the maximum potentials out of them.

Educate kids should be put in the first place of parents’ life. Try to playing with them, however, make the process happy and easy. Happy parenting.

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Disciplining your Child is a Joint Parental Responsibility

Wednesday, November 11th, 2009

No matter how much they may deny it, children prefer to have structure and rules in their lives. It gives them a sense of security to know that there are limits placed on them. Children of all ages can find the world chaotic and arbitrary, rules define the boundaries that they must not overstep without consequences. This, in turn, prevents them from muddling through situations that they may not have the maturity to handle. Providing consistent discipline tailored to a child’s age and emotional maturity is probably the hardest job that parents face. It can be made a whole lot harder if the two parents involved have differing views on what constitutes discipline.

Disciplining your child includes a system of rewards and negative consequences if the rules are disobeyed. Most parents have problems with the ‘punishment’ phase. They tend either to overlook the transgression, employ excessive punishment or be inconsistent in their use of corrective measures leaving the their child confused and prone to test their parents’ authority time and again.

Children can be manipulative. If they sense that the parents are not wholly in agreement on how to handle a particular transgression, they will probably try to play one parent off against the other. If either parent decides not to follow through, it not only weakens both parents’ authority, it also leaves the parent who insists on carrying through the punishment feeling embitteredl and guilty.

In most families, there is an unspoken, perhaps even an unconscious campaign between parents to be the child’s favourite. This desire to be seen as the child’s “special buddy” may be natural, but it can cause serious rifts between couples, especially if it leads to one parent being undermined by the other. In matters of discipline, there must be unanimity between parents as to how it should be applied. If there are areas of dispute, they should always be resolved out of the presence of the child. Moreover, both parents should agree to be consistent when dealing with similar situations. If one parent has a ‘time out’ period of an hour for a certain infringement of the house rules while the other decides on grounding the child for a week for the same offense, it is inevitable that not only will the child be confused, he/she will probably be resentful and unwilling to follow any of the rules set by either parent.

The question of discipline becomes more fractious if the parents are separated or divorced and one or both of them are in new relationships. They should make a concerted effort to keep their child’s best interests at heart, sitting him/her down and clearly spelling out the rules of behaviour and the consequences for violating those rules. Divorce or separation means a rending of the familiar family unit – the child is torn between grief, anger and confusion, unsure where his/her loyalties should lie. One way of softening the impact is by never talking about or acting toward the other parent in a derogatory manner. By treating each other with mutual respect and consulting on matters concerning their son/daughter, the separated/divorced couple teach their child that:

a) conflicts should be handled in a mature manner with no accusing finger-pointing involved

b) the welfare of the child is central to their concerns and

c) both parents aim to be involved in the total care and upbringing of the child including his disciplining, if it arises.

If new relationships are formed by either or both parents, the new comers into the child’s life should be made aware of the rules jointly laid down by both the parents and while suggestions for improvement are always welcome, the final decision on how the matter is handled rests solely with the parents. At the same time, the child should be advised on the need to listen and respect the new partners of their parents and any problems or disagreements should be discussed openly and with regard for the feelings of all concerned. For all to coexist in mutual harmony, the adults should avoid displaying open hostility or undue loyalty to anyone other than the child.

An effective way to teach a child good behaviour is for parents to “practice what they preach”. A child’s value system is strengthened by actions taken by the adults in their life as much as by verbal admonitions. No matter how irritated or angry you are, always be aware that your child will be more responsive if you sit him/her down and calmly explain what the problem is and what the consequences of his/her chosen response will be.

With greater maturity or as situations change, the rules governing the child’s life at home needs to change with new ones introduced and some withdrawn while others remain the same. But regardless of the situation, parents should always present a unified front and work together and not against each other in providing effective discipline for their child. Instilling good behaviour in a child is never easy, but it is our parental responsibility not to shrink from this task.

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Execution Versus Discipline

Thursday, November 5th, 2009

Everybody, these days, seems to be talking about execution. But execution is a bunch of crap!

The problem is not that people don’t know how to execute, it’s that they don’t. And all the books and seminars on “Execution” are not going to help in the least.

What is lacking is not the knowledge of execution, but the practice of DISCIPLINE!

Without discipline, execution will never happen.

Without discipline people will go on procrastinating and putting off every single activity that is necessary for success—from exercise to right eating, from making the next sales call to making the next product, from actually sitting down and writing the next book to hitting the pavement to get it published.

Every success completely and utterly hinges on the practice of DISCIPLINE! And yet virtually nothing useful has been written on the subject.

People talk of discipline as if it were something just for children and soldiers, but not for the rest of us.

The practice of DISCIPLINE is indeed for the rest of us—that is, if we ever hope to succeed and achieve our full potential.

What Is DISCIPLINE?

Discipline is simply doing what we have decided to do.

It is just that simple.

Discipline is doing what we have decided to do.

If you have decided to exercise in the morning, being disciplined means you get up and do it.

If you have decided to write a book, then discipline is applying the seat of the pants to the seat of the chair and getting it done.

If you have decided to hold a meeting at three o’clock, discipline is starting at three, without delay.

It is not possible to imagine success in the absence of this simple habit of following through on those things that we have decided in advance to do.

So the question is, are you carrying through? Do you do that which you have set out to do? Do you do those things that you have decided when you have decided, and in the way that you have decided to do them?

For a slightly more formal definition, DISCIPLINE is the execution of predetermined things, at predetermined times, reinforced through appropriate feedback.

DISCIPLINE is the execution of predetermined things, at predetermined times,

reinforced through appropriate feedback.

Pay especially close attention to the last part of this definition. DISCIPLINE can be created; and the way it gets created is through feedback, both positive and negative, that reinforces either a disciplined lifestyle or a life of procrastination, distraction, and avoidance.

In the end, DISCIPLINE will create your character. Cavett Robert said, “Character is what lasts long after the desire has faded.”

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