Archive for September, 2009

Effective Child Discipline- Parents Need to be Consistent

Friday, September 11th, 2009

When a situation occurs when you know you should implement child discipline do you feel that it’s much easier just to let the child get away with something rather than fighting a battle which you may lose? Children know how make such a big fuss or scene that make it very difficult for parents to follow through with child discipline. If this is a typical response for your child then it is even more essential that you do follow through with child discipline to teach with is acceptable child behavior. However, there should not be any exceptions in child discipline for unacceptable behavior, and consequences should not be negotiable.

Parents should have previously discussed with their children the consequences of unacceptable behavior and made it clear what bad child behavior looks like and child discipline will be implemented. It is essential that children know ahead of the event what the consequences that parents will implement when unacceptable behavior occurs. Having had a previous time with your child clearly explaining the consequences on unacceptable child behavior, and clarifying understanding, it should be reasonable to implement child discipline.

 Parents need to understand that it is normal for all children to test their limits and boundaries . Do not permit children to influence you from following through firmly and fairly with child discipline when these limits are tested. Your decided consequences for child behavior problems needs to be fair and suitable for your child’s age. Be sure to review your child discipline strategy periodically, and be willing to adapt as your child grows older. It is extremely important to be consistent with child discipline.

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Discipline Children With ADHD

Wednesday, September 9th, 2009

Children with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) are notoriously difficult to discipline. Because children with ADHD have trouble focusing, it can be hard to get them to do what you ask or listen to the reason why they are being punished. Consequences such as timeout can be hard to enforce with children who are easily distracted as well.

Although enforcing discipline with children who have ADHD can be challenging, there are effective ways to discipline a child with this disorder. There are a few techniques you should learn as well as common mistakes you should avoid to ensure that your message gets across.

One of the biggest mistakes parents make when trying to discipline children with ADHD is not communicating what the child did wrong and what they should do instead. It is important to clearly explain what a child did wrong and what they should do instead. Children usually hear why they are being punished but often miss out on hearing what the appropriate behavior should be. It is important to tell children how they should act instead so next time they are in a similar situation they will have that knowledge to draw on and make better choices.

If you often find yourself losing your temper, screaming, or yelling, your child may have come to expect this type of behavior before they respond to your requests or discipline. If these actions are the only thing your child responds to your child may have learned that they will not be punished until this point or that you will not follow through on threats until you get angry.

To effectively discipline children with ADHD parents have to be consistent with their rules and requests and always follow through on consequences or punishment. Children will respond better to calm requests when they know the rules will be enforced.

It is important to determine what you want your child to do instead of their bad behavior or what you want them to learn from a consequence or punishment. Discipline should be used as a teaching tool to instill these lessons and values in your child so that they can begin to make better decisions and judgments.

Effective discipline requires good communication, consistency, and clear boundaries and limitations, especially for children with ADHD. You should also remember that recognizing and rewarding good behavior is just as important as disciplining a child.

Once you learn how to send a clear message, follow through with consequences, and effectively communicate with your child, discipline will become easier.

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Anger in Children: When is it a Problem?

Sunday, September 6th, 2009

Anger is a normal emotion that every happy healthy adult and child has to deal with from time to time. When does expressing anger become a problem? Children go through different stages with their age that affect the way they deal with anger. Anger is usually not a root emotion, but a term that may cover feelings ranging from embarrassment, frustration, loneliness to guilt. A newborn baby expresses their “anger” or frustration over being hungry, tired or uncomfortable by screaming and crying. A two-year-old may throw tantrums that include rolling around on the floor or trying to hit the parent, sibling or even their pet. As a child gets older, hopefully proper responses to anger have been modeled for them and they can learn to express their anger more appropriately.

Anger becomes a problem when it causes negative, aggressive behavior, gets out of control and when the root cause of the problem isn’t being dealt with. For instance, often children with undiagnosed learning disabilities will have frequent angry outbursts. They may be feeling frustrated because they are struggling to learn and it may feel like the world is closing in on them when parents or teachers suggest that they aren’t trying hard enough or doing their best. Because the child isn’t able to deal with the real issue, they become angry over small incidents that would normally be insignificant. This helps them to avoid feeling “stupid” or incapable. Once the problem is discovered and the child gets the help, support and proper discipline that is needed, the angry outbursts become less frequent or disappear altogether.

It is important that children learn how to express their emotions in a healthy and constructive manner. A child should never be told that their feelings are wrong, though they may need reminding if their behavior is wrong. For instance you might say, “Johnny, I understand that you are angry about your brother breaking your toy, that wasn’t fair, but it is not okay to hit when you are angry.” The child needs to know that his feelings are validated and should also be given some ideas about how to handle the situation better the next time they are in a similar position.

Anger is a normal emotion for people of all ages, including children. Good communication and modeling good behavior are two of the best ways to help children learn to deal with anger. Taking the time to praise your child whenever he or she does anything that is positive can also help them understand what it expected and feel good about doing what is right. Take the time to check yourself to see if you spend too much time being negative or angry and find ways to be more positive. If the parents in the home aren’t dealing with anger appropriately, they can’t expect the child to. Be willing to admit when you are wrong and apologize to your child, teaching them to do the same. If you suspect that your child has a serious anger problem, it may be time to get some additional help and guidance.

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Effective Ways to Teach Your Child Responsibility

Thursday, September 3rd, 2009

Responsibility. As a parent, career person and partner, it seems as though your plate is so chock-full of it that it’s become second nature to you! Yet have you stopped to consider that when it comes to your child, he or she doesn’t learn about it – rather, your son or daughter has to be taught it?

If you have young children, it may be difficult to picture them handling responsibility like tweens, teens and adults – yet this is exactly the age where you should be instilling such values so that responsibility doesn’t become a dirty word; rather it will become an instinctive behavior for life! So what are some of the best methods for teaching your child about the importance of responsibility? Read on to find out!

First, it’s important to let your child know that by being responsible with chores, homework, etc., they’re actually helping out the family as a whole. Children love belonging to a group or unit, and if you stress how important your son or daughter’s task is – even if it’s just helping you dry the dishes or picking up dirty laundry off of the bedroom floor – your child will see the bigger picture of what responsibility’s all about: that other people are depending on him or her to perform a task in a certain way. Get your child involved in daily household activities that are age-appropriate in order to highlight this point; for example, have an older child wash your car or ask your toddler to help you pick up any toys that are laying about. Make sure to give your child lots of praise for a job well done!

Another effective way to teach responsibility to your child is to create a chore chart. This is very similar to the charts that are used in schools, where teachers place gold stars next to a student’s name for a right answer or great grade; yet this chart should detail each child’s chore and when it should be completed. Have incentives for when your child gets a chore done; for example, instead of gold stars, you can create a chart around a points system, where a certain number of points will get your child rewards like a small toy, a trip to the movie theater or a favorite movie. This positive reinforcement will soon teach your child to view responsible behavior as second-nature!

If you have older children, another great way to teach them responsibility is to get them a credit card. Mind you, you don’t have to get one with a $1,000 limit! Rather, pick a student card with a very low limit, like $250 – $500. Stress to your child that the card is for emergency purchases only, and can only be used if your child has enough money to pay it off by the time the bill is due. Remember, this method should only be used with teenagers; yet it sets your child up for financial responsibility, which is crucial to learn in his or her early years. For younger children, an allowance is typically an appropriate way to teach financial responsibility.

Essentially, teaching responsibility to your children boils down to making them feel as though their contribution matters around the household – and it does! So next time your child completes a chore or picks up after themselves, heap lots of praise on him or her; they’ll not only learn all about responsibility, but they’ll feel so great about themselves that they’ll want to help out around the house all the time!

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