How to Discipline Your Child

How to discipline your child with love

Many of today’s children are running riot because in most cases, the lack of discipline coming from their sole guardians but tell me, what is the correct way to discipline your child?

Many parents have tried the slapping routine but does this method really work? No, slapping your child is the old skool way to discipline a child which can resolve in violence being lead on through the generations. In some cases it works but not all. When a parent uses slapping to discipline in many cases the child gets used to being beaten and the method eventually stops working because the child doesn’t care if they are slapped or not.

How about grounding? Grounding your child is basically a term used to keep your child within the home until decided otherwise. This can work if the parent is strong willed and determined to follow through. Also if the discipline has already been enforced in the home and the child understands that he or she must respect the decisions made by his or her parents.

When a child is looked after by a nanny, one that pops into mind is a london nanny agency called http://www.whosyournannyagency.com/, a nursery or school setting, they are able to enforce discipline without any violence involved.

Nanny agencies and childcare settings have their own way of enforcing discipline which works and would benefit the child if this method was used in the home also.

From experience, London nanny agencies and other childcare settings use warnings to show a child that he or she has gone too far and needs to rethink his or her actions and give the children a chance to turn their behaviour around.

If the child continues to misbehave, further action is taken depending on the age of the child.

Young children are sent to an area or another room and time out is begun, the amount of minutes spent on time out is based on the child’s age e.g. 5 years = 5 minutes.

Once the child has done his or her time fully the parent or guardian ‘must’ explain why the child was placed on time out and then the child is given the chance to apologise. If the child refuses to co-operate, the child’s will resit their time again and the process is continued.

Older children can be more difficult but a similar process can be delivered. Older children can be sent to their rooms and be told to stay there but must be given the chance (once they have calmed down) to apologise for his or her actions.

Once again if the child refuses to co operate, the child must stay in his or her room and the punishment can increase to grounding or loss of things. Items can be returned if attitude and behaviour has turned around, always keep his or her items for at least a week to show that you mean business.

Both of these discipline remedies show no violence and the child feels and knows that once his or her behaviour has improved love and harmony in the home will be restored.

The most important thing to remember when enforcing discipline in your child is to show love and affection when the child is doing the right thing. Then the child will understand that the only time ’mummy’ or ’daddy’ is angry is when they have been naughty but when ’I’ (meaning the child) am good I am rewarded by love and possibly a treat or reward for good behaviour.

Treats and rewards should not be a everyday thing or an extravagant pressie, trips to the child’s favourite park or fun fair is a reward. A day trip that involves the child and parents having a fun day out and time spent together having fun is a great reward.

In order to get the best out of your child you need to demonstrate what you want from them. Treat them how you would want to be treated and you will be rewarded with the results!

A learning disabled child needs help and parents should provide it through patience, love and proper knowledge. It is important that parents understand that a child’s learning disability is not a hindrance for a happy childhood. It is the duty of parents to discover the strengths of the child and nurture them to build self confidence. A learning disabled child needs protection but parents must also determine situations when the child has to be left independent to discover his or her talents and skills.

The signs and symptoms of learning disability vary from one child to another. Thus, the methods of handling each child also differ. Here are some general tips for parents of children with learning disability:

Develop skills, interests and talents

A learning disability is not the totality of the child. A parent must understand that every child has potentials for optimum development and a learning disability should never be a hindrance to achieve this goal. Seek the help of experts in finding ways to discover the skills, interests and talents of the child. After knowing what the child desires, parents can research on methods on how to encourage the child to reach his or her potential.

Don’t expect too much

Teaching a learning disabled child would not be easy so be prepared to adjust lessons according to the child’s abilities. Do not expect that the child will understand basic concepts immediately. Lessons and even daily activities need to be explained step-by-step until the learning disabled child fully understand the concept. Repetitive discussions are to be done. Parents are advised not to expect too much but rather focus on the small accomplishments of the child with learning disability.

Practice discipline

A child with learning disability still requires discipline. A parent must carefully explain the rules and the consequences. The child must understand that the rules are set for his or her own benefit. Moreover, a parent must also provide enough space for the child to explore and gain independence.

Encourage curiosity

Some studies revealed that a child with learning disability is a lazy learner. Encouraging curiosity is a healthy way to help a child take interest in learning. Parents should show enthusiasm in every day occurrences and even in simple and ordinary things to encourage curiosity. Do a research on creative activities to do together with the child.

Create a schedule for storytelling

Reading may be difficult for some learning disabled children but parents can encourage interest through it. It can also be a quality bonding moment between the parents and the child. A parent can encourage participation through question and answer. In some cases, a child may be asked to retell the story based on his or her own understanding. This is a beneficial way to know the level of understanding of a child with learning disability.

Involve a learning disabled child in the daily family life

A learning disabled child should not be contained in his or her own world. He or she should be included in the daily activities of the family. It is advantageous for the child to feel that he or she can share in basic household chores. A learning disabled child may find it enjoyable also to discover that he or she can be trusted with a small responsibility in the house.

For some children, who are part of a family where God plays an important role, they

already have the advantage of knowing about Him.

For other children, where God is entirely absent from family life, they won’t know about Him.

And still for others, whose family members are lukewarm about any type of spiritual presence, the children really don’t know whether God exists or doesn’t exist.

As adults, we can either do something about this, or ignore it. The choice is that simple.

I was on a cruise recently on which I had a fabulous time. On the last day, I was sitting in the lounge thinking about the cruise, and my thoughts turned to three adventure books I had written about children getting to know God. The books are about three teenagers who fall head-long into exciting adventures. An ostrich, a tiger and a bald eagle, accompany the children as guardians. These animals are far from ordinary. They are angels, who cause mayhem, disbelief and chaos as they stay firmly by Kate, James and Amanda. What a wonderful analogy, I thought–those children and this cruise. Let me explain.

Throughout the books, it is suggested, very subtly, how much a young person can benefit from believing in God, who is always there for them although they can never see Him.

Cruise travel has moved on since I was last at sea, but what has not moved on is the reliance and trust we place in the captain of the ship. Our complete past, present and future is in the hands of the ship’s captain. We believe that everything will be just fine, in spite of the remote possibility of serious problems–especially in bad weather when there is very limited control – even for the captain of the ship. This trust has developed because there has been little evidence of major sea disasters involving large passenger ships, except in the most extreme circumstances. This is largely due to incredibly advanced technology.

We therefore board the ship with the confidence and assurance that the journey will go according to plan. The captain will steer the ship; he will ensure that every need or want of the passengers is met by the crew.

For the captain of the ship, the buck stops with him. His ship, crew and passengers are his responsibility. No matter what anyone else is doing, he, or his designate, will be at the helm 24/7. The position of captain of a ship and the response of the passengers to the rules and regulations in force, is called discipline. If passengers do not obey the regulations, they could possibly become a hazard to the safety of the ship. All of this we accept without question when we book a cruise. During the voyage, we can then be complacent, forgetting about everything but enjoying ourselves.

Given the above scenario why do we, as human beings, have so much trouble trusting in God? We go on a cruise, or board a plane, and we put our implicit trust in the captain of the ship or the plane. If we are unable, or unwilling, to equate this trust with trust in God, is it fair to deny our children this opportunity? Encourage them to believe in God and that He is there whenever they need Him. There is no need to go into long explanations about God, or to teach fear of God. Just assure them that there is a Great Being who is keeping watch over them as they start their lives. That is enough for now. When they are older, they can learn more and start making choices. Why not let them get on the ‘cruise ship’ and know that a ‘captain’ is looking after them? They do not need to know His name or what their parents feel about Him, or what anybody else believes. But they do need to know that when they emerge from the love and protection of their parents– especially during the school years–there is someone else who is there for them and who will keep the ship on course.

For most children, it is too much for them to understand the depths of mature religious belief. The subjects of beliefs, religion and children cross paths from time to time, but the focus of young people is more on growing up and coping with what lies before them. While exploring the theories of spirituality and life about them, children will eventually accept or reject what they have encountered. But, in order to make these decisions, children must be exposed to the facts. To encourage them initially in a simple belief is key to their eventual choices of the right way to live,

The captain, crew and passengers of a ship have to depend on discipline to ensure a good passage. In Hell’s Gate Trilogy, when Kate, James and Amanda realize that Someone is watching over them, they also learn that there is a small thing called discipline needed to realize the benefits of a relationship with God.

In turn this will introduce young people to the discipline required to make progress in their own lives, whether we acknowledge a Greater Being or not. Too often we don’t have this discipline and we do what we want to do–not what we are supposed to do, or what we have been taught to do, or what we have learned to do. On board ship this would be a recipe for disaster. How far are we going to progress in a career or in life without the will to get things done and the discipline to do them? Encouraging our children to think about God, will give them a head start. We must ask ourselves why we would not give a child the knowledge of God, when we are only too willing to give the child everything else?

Is it because we are set in our own ways and ideologies in general, and find it hard to be liberal towards our children in the area of religious or spiritual beliefs? Why can’t we give them this small confidence of belief?

To conclude on an interesting and positive note, according to new research at the University of British Columbia in Canada, if people are made aware of words like God, spirit, divine or prophet, they are inclined to be kinder and more generous.

What more could we ask for our children?

Kenya girls

Sometimes as parents we need to be extremely creative in our discipline. I managed to have a stroke of creative genius when my son was 16 that I want to share with you that helps illustrate a facet of Empowerment Parenting: “The only person whose behavior you can control is your own.”

When Kyle turned 16, he wanted to have a birthday party. As an Empowered Parent, I knew my job was to ensure this was a safe party as best I could so I began to ask him my preliminary questions. How many kids was he inviting? Who were they? What activities was he planning? Where did he want to have the party? Was he thinking he’d have any alcohol or drugs at this party? What was his picture of adult supervision?

His answers basically satisfied me. He wanted 16 friends, male and female. (Every birthday, he had a party with the same number of friends as he had candles on the cake-sixteen years-old, sixteen friends. He wanted this to be a camping party and he planned to play paintball and flashlight tag in the woods behind our house. He assured me there would be no drugs or alcohol at this party but when we got to the adult supervision question, he was adamant he didn’t need or want any.

I let him know that adult supervision was a non-negotiable. If he wanted a party, then he had to agree to adult supervision. After all, I was going to be responsible for 16 underage teens who were not my own. There was a pond in the woods, bear and other dangerous things. I told him I didn’t need to be there the entire time but I would need to check on them periodically to ensure everything was all right.

After complaining and whining that he didn’t need supervision and accusing me of being an overprotective mother, he reluctantly agreed to my supervision. He recognized there would be no party without it. I thought all was well until the day of the party.

The sixteen friends I knew turned into over 70 kids. There were caravans of cars coming from town with young people, some of whom I had never seen before. Some of them had already graduated. It didn’t take long to find out there was alcohol there when Kyle’s best friend from grade school vomited at my feet!

I went around to all the kids I could find and collected their car keys. I confiscated all the alcohol I could find and dumped it out. I never found evidence of drugs. I hid all pain relievers and acid reducers I had in the house so they could experience the natural consequences of their drinking the next day.

After everyone left and it was time to deal with Kyle, I wasn’t sure what to do. My first thought was to KILL him but I didn’t think that was a very smart idea. I didn’t want to spend the rest of my natural born days in prison orange. (Not my color.) So, I went to my fall back position which was grounding. I believed I needed to ground Kyle for allowing his party to get so out of control. He never came to me to ask for help. I knew I couldn’t trust him so I thought I should ground him until I could trust him again.

There were several problems with this approach. First of all, grounding your child is often a punishment to yourself because children will make it their mission to make their parents’ lives miserable until the grounding is lifted. I didn’t want that. The other problem I saw was that it was at least possible that even though I grounded Kyle, he may decide to go out anyway. Then I had to ask myself how far was I prepared to take that? If he went out, would I lock him out? Would I contact the police? Would I simply let him in with no consequence? I really didn’t want to have to answer those questions. Another problem is that when a child is grounded for lack of trust, how can he earn that trust back? He isn’t placed in any situation to test how trustworthy he actually is. He isn’t learning anything. He is only being punished.

My creativity began to kick in. I was able to recognize the main problem. I was attempting to control Kyle’s behavior. I can’t make anyone do anything he or she doesn’t want to do and here I was trying to coerce my 16 year-old child to stay in the house for an indefinite period of time. Knowing the tenants of Inside Out Empowerment, I know the only person whose behavior I can control is my own. Trying to control Kyle at his age in his rebellious state of mind was a recipe for disaster!

In a moment of supreme creativity, I knew what I had to do. I was going to control my behavior instead of his. I still told Kyle I didn’t trust him. He stuck to his story that he hadn’t invited all those people. I told him I believed him, knowing how news can spread in a small town. However, I didn’t trust him because he hadn’t come to me when things got out of hand.

Since I didn’t trust him, I told him my first thought was to ground him. (No sense telling him I actually wanted to KILL him first!) But I told him I had decided against the grounding. Instead, I wanted him to do anything he wanted to do but since I didn’t trust him, I would go along until I believed I could trust him again. If he went to the school dance the next weekend, I would be a chaperone. If he went to the movies with his friends, I would sit in the theater until he was ready to go. If he went out to eat with his friends, I would go along. . .I was even willing to buy! Wherever he went, I would also go.

I knew he would either ground himself because he didn’t want to be seen with me or we would spend some great quality time together. Had he chosen the latter, he wouldn’t have been mad at me. He wouldn’t be grounded because I said so. He was choosing it because he didn’t want to be seen with me. The opposite occurred. He and I went everywhere together for the next two weeks. He pretended to **** it but I believe he secretly enjoyed the quality time we were able to spend together.

After two weeks of shadowing him, I told Kyle I was feeling able to trust him again. I reinstated the trust and never had another problem with him. He’s almost 23 years-old now.

When you are disciplining your child, are you attempting to control his or her behavior or your own? Is your goal to punish or to teach? If it is to teach, do you think fear and control are good teachers? Did you learn best when afraid or did you simply learn better ways of not getting caught?

If you take the time to be creative enough to think of ways to change your own behavior instead of your child’s and you find methods of motivation and inspiration, you will be rewarded with a stronger, healthier relationship with your child and consequently a greater influence over their future growth and development. Isn’t that what you ultimately want anyway?

Looking for infant education advice? Wondering why are some children are easier to discipline? It took educators more than 20 years of parent and baby watching to get the answer. Their conclusion is the deeper the parent-child connection, the easier discipline will be. And this connection starts to form at infant stage, and it depends on your infant education style. If you just had a baby, now it’s you time to start to build a solid connection with your baby. To help you appreciate the relationship between connection to your child and disciplining your child, In this page I will share with you some infant education tips:

1)Respond to your baby’s cries

Before your actually hold your baby in your arms you will wonder,”how will I always know what my baby needs?” You will learn quickly because your baby will let you know. The key is to listen and observe. Babies are born with their earlier and strongest language which is Cry. A baby’s cry is designed to ensure that his needs for food, holding, rest and social interaction are met. Your baby’s cry also builds up his parents’ parenting skills. Responding to your baby’s cries is your first practice in discipling your baby. Therefore, when your baby cries, pick him up and comfort him. Don’t waste your time wondering, ” Will spoil her?”, Just do it.

2) Breastfeed your baby

There is a special link between breastfeeding and discipline. Promoting desirable behavior requires that you know your child and help your child feel right. Breastfeeding helps you get to know your baby and provide the response that helps him feel right.

3) Wear your baby

Beginning in the early weeks, hold or wear your baby in a baby sling for as many hours a day as you and your baby enjoy. babywearing improves the way babies feel. The carried baby feels like a part of the parent’s world. babywearing helps the baby feel included and important, which creates a feeling of rightness that translates into better behavior and more opportunities for learning. The brain is stimulated through motion, increasing the baby’s intellectual capacity, a forerunner to the child’s ability to make appropriate sensory-motor adaptation in the future.

4)Play with your baby

What does playing have to do with discipline? you may wonder, play helps you know your baby’s capabilities and age-appropriate behaviors at each stage of development. It sets the stage for you and your baby or enjoy one another. It opens the door to a valuable discipline tool you will need at all stages of your child’s life—humor. To smile, laugh, and giggle your way through a situation sidesteps a conflict, gets the child’s attention, opening his mind to your discipline. Playing together gives your baby the message ” you are important to me.” a valuable feeling for growing self-esteem.

5)Share sleep with your baby

Every family needs to work out a sleeping arrangement where all sleep best, and many educators believe nightmare environment that can best strengthen your parent-child attachment allows for baby sleeping near you. and also share sleep with your baby, baby’s overall physiological system works better when baby sleeps next to the mother. The cardiorespiratory system is more regulated, less stressed, less anxiety.

6) Become a Facilitator

At each stage of development, a child needs significant people who care about him and whom he cares about. These people act as facilitators, helping the child learn how to conduct himself in the world. The facilitator anticipates what the child needs at each stage of development in order to thrive. Thinking of yourself as a facilitator keeps you from hovering over and smothering your child with overprotection. Being on standby as needed helps you and your child negotiate an appropriate level of independent.

A healthy attachment in infancy is likely to turn out a healthier adult. How a mother and infant spend the first year together makes a difference, probably for the rest of their lives.

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