Archive for June, 2009

Follow These Tips For a Temper Tantrum-Free Child!

Thursday, June 25th, 2009

Every parent has a horror story from when their child threw a particularly powerful temper tantrum. Perhaps it occurred in the middle of a crowded grocery store or during a movie; wherever the tantrum took place, nothing can be more frustrating than trying to turn your son or daughter from a screaming child into a sweet angel again. Why exactly do temper tantrums take place, anyways?

Many child experts agree that young children use temper tantrums for different reasons, depending on their age range. Those children that are in their infancy and early toddler years often have difficulty in expressing their exact feelings, like how hungry they are, if they’re in pain or if they just need a nap; so instead, they vent their frustration through tears. Older children, having outgrown this particular developmental stage, use temper tantrums as a form of learned manipulation – since a parent has likely caved in to a temper tantrum in the past, the child now knows that he or she can have whatever they want after a few minutes of screaming.

So if you’re ready to put an end to temper tantrums once and for all, just follow these easy and expert-approved steps!

1. When your child is in the midst of throwing a particularly loud temper tantrum, don’t scold or discipline your child from afar. Instead, get down to eye level with your child and tell them that you’d like him or her to stop. By getting in your child’s personal space, you become a more tangible force to be obeyed, rather than just a person in the distance. Continue doing this during temper tantrums and your child will soon learn that his or her behavior is unacceptable.

2. Try to distract your child by suggesting another activity. Often, temper tantrums are thrown when children are bored or frustrated with what they’re doing at the present moment; by suggesting another activity, you’ll take your child’s mind off of his or her boredom and the temper tantrum altogether.

3. Identify why it is exactly that your child is throwing a temper tantrum. This is particularly useful to do, especially if your child is still in the developmental stage where he or she cannot properly express emotions and feelings. Is your child hungry? Tired? Thirsty? Figure out why your child is so upset and remedy the problem. However, one word of warning: do not apply this same logic to your child if he or she is throwing a tantrum due to wanting a toy or object: you’ll only teach your child that he or she will be rewarded for bad behavior!

4. You may be able to avoid temper tantrums altogether if you get your child involved in day-to-day decision-making processes. For example, if your child usually throws a temper tantrum when getting dressed in the morning, ask him or her what clothes he’d like to wear for the day. Sure, your child may choose some interesting outfits, but many children throw tantrums when they’re given no say. Relinquish a bit of control over the smaller stuff, and your child will be a sweet angel again.

As you can see, temper tantrums can happen for all sorts of reasons, so it’s important to quickly identify what it is that set your child off. Basic emotions, like hunger, thirst and tiredness should be remedied; however, if you never want to experience a tantrum again, don’t give in to other kinds of temper tantrums! Stay firm and consistent with your child, and he or she will soon realize that bad behavior will not be tolerated.

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The Deed Of Discipline…The Lack Of Discipline, A Sure Recipe For Ultimate Failure

Saturday, June 20th, 2009

Discipline is very indispensable. Discipline is training or control, often using a system of punishment that yields obedience, that is, to a set pattern or set of rules. Discipline is the controlled, ordered conduct ensuing from particular training. Here is a sentence, which is an example of discipline. ‘The soldiers showed impeccable discipline in battle’. This sentence means that in battle the soldiers demonstrated significant self-control, order and conformity to the rules of battle etc, which must have been a result of forceful but beneficial treatment/training. The whole essence of discipline is to keep order and adherence to the set rules for conduct. Without discipline, there is chaos (disorder, turmoil, confusion or disarray etc). Undisciplined people like to laze around and find irresistible inappropriate sleep (Proverbs 20:13, Proverbs 19:15) or unprofitable comfort.  Discipline is a vital key to fulfilling one’s goal(s). Discipline is hard work, entails some commitment and is not a sweet pie. It is exceedingly valuable.

 

I implore you to be disciplined. People who are disciplined tend to be in control of them selves, their time and even other people. When you are in control of self, you are able to limit order and regulate your behaviour, including the way you conduct your work. If you set yourself time to wake up and study or pray, you need to train yourself to obey that rule. Being self controlled means that you will order or instruct your self to follow that particular setting. Be able to order yourself to diligently study regardless of circumstances. Do not allow circumstances to dictate your life. More often than not, your flesh will be weak and reluctant to fulfil serious life objectives or any other goal that establishes you as a successful individual. For example, take prayer and fasting i.e. abstaining from food for religious purposes. These are awesome acts that the flesh would adamantly oppose though quite beneficial to one’s spiritual life. However, discipline will enable your body to obey your willing spirit. Learn to be self-disciplined.

 

A story is told of Christopher Parkening, a distinguished classical guitarist who by the age of 30 had become a master of his instrument. However, that mastery did not come cheaply and effortlessly. Christopher spent several hours a day practicing the guitar whilst other children played around. You see that was some kind of punishment. Rather than enjoy playing around, as the body likes to do, he was confined to something that for that moment did not seem beneficial.  Such self-disciplined commitment produced a proficiency that few can equal. I have heard it said that if you do something whether bad or good, consistently (again and again) for 21 days, it becomes part of you-a habit. God has made you in such a way that you can do all things if you purpose in heart and put your mind to it. Nothing would be impossible to him that believes. Many people lack the practice of consistency. Their lives are littered with many unfinished (uncompleted) projects. They easily give up as soon as the going gets tough and when short-term benefits are not forth coming.

 

We cannot talk about discipline without reference to obedience or self-control because these are what embody the whole act of discipline. In fact in the bible, obedience sums up self- discipline. To be self-disciplined is to stay within the limits or confines of God’s law by avoiding evil. To be a disciplined person requires that you are self-controlled. Self-control is not something you pray for. You already have it because God has before now given it to you and all you need is to activate it by assertion and practice (2 Timothy 1:7 & 1 Peter 5:8). You have to declare by word of mouth that, you possess the spirit of self-control and make an effort to live accordingly. Do not ignore discipline because by doing so, you are simply despising yourself (Proverbs 15:32). In fact to ignore discipline is to come to poverty and shame (Proverbs 13:18). Despising oneself is regarding oneself as worthless. If you despise yourself, it means that you dislike (can’t stand) yourself so much that you think it not worthy to enjoy anything good. How can you work for personal success or well being if you scorn yourself? We are all valuable, but our value becomes nothing due to indiscipline or a lack of it. 

Success comes to those who are self disciplined, to those who exercise self-control and embrace obedience.  Learn to control your conduct by means of rules and restrictions based on principle and sound judgement rather than by mere impulse or the cravings of life. Do not just do what your friends are doing without regard to the consequences. Think before acting. A person who has no rule over his life or lacks self-control is like a house whose walls are broken down. A wall is important in that it acts as a boundary or barrier dividing or also enclosing something. In other words, it acts as a defence and gives a limit as to how far one can go. It defends against unnecessary intrusions. Without self-control, you are defenceless, are at anyone’s command and liable to dance to anyone’s tune anytime anyhow. As a result of it, Satan is rewarded the freedom to tempt you knowing that you will with no trouble give in to the temptation (1corinthians 7:5). It means you lack the firmness to obey the revealed yardstick to your conduct, in any circumstance, set by the word of God or by yourself in line with the word of God. People who are disciplined have the ability to focus on their goals, and consistently stay within their priorities. Young men and women especially are encouraged to be self-controlled (Titus 2:6) because they are strong and as well vulnerable. Learn to occasionally deny yourself certain deeds such as sleep, play etc   and commit to study or fulfilment of a particular significant objective. This may appear, as punishment but it comes with considerable benefits. Willingness to do something is quite a good thing. But without discipline (self-control or obedience) it can be very devastating.

 

Many people have an enviable willingness to do things. This willingness however, must be combined with discipline. That is why the bible says that if you are willing and obedient, you will eat the best of the land (Isaiah 1:18). Discipline bears endurance. If you are disciplined, you will endure difficulties especially those that tend to come between you and your goal. Jesus endured insults and beatings not only because he was focused on the ultimate goal and glory ahead of him, but also because he was disciplined. When you train yourself to remain calm and controlled under fire, it means you will develop the courage and peace not to retaliate (react with insolence and vengeance). Rather you will respond with gentleness. You will not insult back when insulted. Jesus is our example (1 Peter 2: 22- ). Discipline brings peace and delight to the soul (Proverbs 29:17) and in it there is hope (optimism). Never disregard discipline in your life lest you come to failure. Do not overlook this important component of success lest you come to poverty and shame (Proverbs 13:18). Train yourself to obey, to control self, to do or not to do certain things, because you may die for lack of discipline (Proverbs 5:23). God bless you as you exercise discipline for with it comes progress.

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Methods On Disciplining Kids

Monday, June 15th, 2009

One of the most difficult things as parents that we are able to do is trying to discipline our children. It is the one thing that we wish never to do – but also the one thing that we know must be done. Without discipline our kids will become spoiled. That is why you must start when they are young.

Certain people think that disciplining a child who is only one years old is too soon to start and a little unfair. They make the explanation that they do not know what you are telling them and so they are not able to recognize what you are saying to them. What these people do not recognize is that in order for the child to know what it means you have to start using them.

Apparently placing them in a time out may not help because they do not understand and will not stay. That is why you have to begin with something small like saying the word “no” or “stop”. Be tolerant and work with them in a kind manner. Tell them to stop and then keep them from what it is they are trying to do. It won’t take them too long to learn what this entails.

As they become older they will need more disciplining then just simple words. They will attempt to force their boundaries by pretending they do not hear you or know. But you know different and to show them that those limits cannot be pushed without outcomes you should set up punishments.

If they do something that is wrong after already receiving a warning take away their preferred toys, take their juice away, or set them too bed early. These will make a serious affect on them and they will learn how much they don’t wish this to happen a good deal.

One of the best methods that you can utilize to punish them with is the time out. Specify a region where they have to sit with their hands in their laps. Ensure they are not playing with toys and do not talk when here. It is not a punishment that is for fun.

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Strong Willed Children – Nurturing and Developing Your Strong Willed Child

Friday, June 12th, 2009

Each child is a unique individual that needs to be nurtured and developed throughout his or her childhood. Children grow through experiences, learning and maturity. Each child has a set of strengths and weaknesses. It is a parent’s job to nurture and focus on their child’s strengths rather than their weaknesses. Strong willed children are always asking questions. They have strong opinions even at a young age. They are resistant to limitations.

While these sound like positive attributes in an adult, these attributes can be challenging for a parent to handle in a young child that isn’t mature enough to control these traits. To a strong willed child, the word “no” is the start of a battle of wills. These children love to debate and also have to get the last word in during a conversation.

Strong willed children can be quite dramatic and will use this skill to their advantage when they are trying to get their way. Reasoning with a strong willed child requires a lot of patience, consistency and self-control on the part of the parent. Strong willed children need to be heard and they need to know that you listened to them. They also want explanations for everything. Parents need to be strong and caring in their decisions and encourage their child to listen to the reasons behind their decision.

It takes a lot of patience to explain your decision to your strong willed children. It is important to do it in a firm and caring manner so that your child understands that it is the right decision for you and your child. This approach can be difficult for parents who were raised in the generation of children should be controlled at all times and when a parent says “no” it means “no” and that’s the end of it. Giving your strong willed child a voice can make all the difference in the world in your relationship with your child. And, that doesn’t mean giving your child his or her way. It simply means taking the time to listen to them.

Raising strong willed children can be challenging. However it is also rewarding for both you and your child that you can communicate openly and have arguments and still love each other unconditionally. It is important to remember to always keep your child’s self-esteem in mind in all of your interactions. Children learn by example and you are their best role model.

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Discipline That Works – Most of the Time!

Wednesday, June 10th, 2009

Some experts dispute the need for any sort of discipline, in the belief that model parents so influence children by their shinning example that discipline are largely unnecessary. If you happen to be one of the fortunate few who have been rewarded with an easy child, this may indeed is true. For the rest of us, however, discipline is most certainly necessary. But we must choose our methods carefully.

It may seem strange, but young children tend to feel much more secure when they live in an environment that has structure and clearly defined limits. Not only does good discipline make children happier, but it gives a much needed foundation to help them cope with the limits and restrictions of school and life in general. Children who have experienced little discipline before school find it hard to change overnight and fit into the limits of a kindergarten class. Some children are strong enough to take this in their stride, but many react badly, and become withdrawn, sullen and unhappy. The result may be that the child will then refuse to go to school at all.

I am in no doubt as to the benefits of discipline, but I worry about some of the stupidity that is displayed by parents in this area. In the next few articles that I am about to publish, there are various types of disciplines that I will discuss, some of which are effective most of the time: some will work occasionally: many methods are best forgotten altogether.

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