How to Discipline Your Child

If your parenting methods include abuse of any kind; physical, sexual, emotional or verbal, please get help to stop as soon as possible. Adults are supposed to safeguard and protect the young among us. You may be repeating patterns learned in your family of origin or not know any other methods of parenting.

I have included a number of different approaches to discipline that won’t damage the spirit of your precious children, but none will work if you haven’t acknowledged that what you were doing in the past was harmful and that your family deserved a more nurturing environment. I am not a psychologist or a counselor, but I know there are good ones out there who can assist you in shifting your paradigm of discipline to a more loving and respectful relationship.

You owe it to your children and yourself to break the bonds and cycle of abuse and get help. Change is possible; I see it every day in families I work with. You are a good, kind and loving person or you wouldn’t be reading this book and attending these classes, so I encourage you to take the steps that will change the lives of your children and their children.

You can do it. I believe in you.

A list of talking points to help you discipline without damage is listed below.

• The meaning of the word discipline

• Is your love unconditional

• Be both firm and kind in discipline

• Adults also need time out

• Teach them that mistakes are never final

• We all need boundaries

• Consistent does not mean rigid

• Discipline but never punish

• Catch them doing things right

• Teach without anger, shame or blame

• There is no such thing as a “good” or “bad” child

• Issue a warning, but mean it

• ******** and screaming are not effective teachers

• Eliminate “Who’s at Fault?”

• Be aware of your body and ****** language

• Treat each child as an individual

• Be careful of abusive adjectives, they really hurt

• Recognize effort and improvement

• Don’t punish them for telling the truth

• Deal with problems in private, praise in public

• Distinguish between minor mishaps and major problems

• Teach them to forgive and ask for forgiveness

• Be curious not furious-Ask questions

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My dad always speaks about his childhood days. He tells how they used to go and play cricket every evening or sometimes the whole day, how they had to water the coconut trees by drawing water out of the well, how the had to wash clothes and peel coconuts and all that. Its really interesting listening to all this, especially when people of my generation haven’t even walked more than a kilometre and not even touched a coconut! Thirty years’ back they used to walk to college everyday, and now some of my friends have their own private car with a chauffeur! Life was different then, and so were many factors associated with it.

I fall sick at least once a month. Most of the time its cold or a viral fever. And then I noticed one important thing, most of the kids of this generation fall sick like me. Sometimes I feel we kids in this generation have nothing called as immunity, feel it’s just a vague idea. Then one day, out of curiosity I asked my dad, how often he fell sick? I asked the same question to my dad’s brother and also a family friend of ours. They all said they rarely fell sick! It was something that made me think, and was pestering me since a long time.

My sister is good at sports. So last year my parents decided to develop her ability. So she was put under a coach in the stadium. I do go to the stadium and sit there, while these people are trained vigorously. It’s been one year since she has been attending this coaching, and what I noticed is something very surprising. She hasn’t fallen sick since the last few months. Even when all of us at home get infected, she doesn’t. So where did this resistance come from suddenly?

The other day I dad been to Bangalore along with my sister to attend an athletic meet there. We stayed there for three days, along with 20 other athletes under her coach. The whether there was different and so was the food. And at the end of three days I was down with fever, while none of them even sneezed!

That’s when I realised that the body fitness played the trick! Their body is so fit that they have resistance to almost every minor infection. Now that’s something, which interested me.

That’s one aspect of this debate. The second thing I noticed there is that most of the athletes are very disciplined, and have a very good academic performance record! And when I say discipline, its not only academics, but life in general. In the hotel, I had a brief visit to everyone’s rooms, and what I saw embarrassed me. The rooms were clean, and unlike mine, everything was kept in an organised manner. Now this is what I call discipline. I learned a lot that day from my juniors!. Since they are in the stadium till sunset, they have to divert the remaining time for their academics. That means no TV. And the devil can’t do his magic from the box now. They come home and do study everyday and most of them manage to get around 80% with the very little time they have. And that pays.

I know its every parent’s dream to see his or her children achieve something and be proud. It’s also their wish that their child always remains healthy. So I think putting little children to athletics can answer some of the worries! ATHELETICS ensures good health, mental discipline and also builds zeal to win! What I say is every child should be given a chance in this field at a tender age of 10. The parents should see his/her performance for the next five years. If they are satisfied, continue with it. Because after 10th grade the right decisions should be taken in this regard, whether it should continue as a profession or just a hobby.

In this way I think we can build up children who are the best of the best.

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During childhood, a good night’s sleep is one of the most important things that a child can have – in fact, childhood experts agree that young children typically need between nine to ten hours a night in order to encourage proper body and development function. Yet if your child has trouble sleeping through the night, this can often seem like an impossible goal; however, you’re not alone. Thanks to the popularity of stimulating technology in the home, like video games, computers and mp3 players, more and more children are finding it difficult to sleep through the night due to overstimulation. Add to the fact that many children are consuming diets full of sugar and carbs, and you have a recipe for a night full of tossing and turning!

Want to get your child to stop his or her sleepless nights and get the nine to ten hours that child experts recommend for ideal overall growth and health? Just follow these tips and your child will be off to dreamland in no time!

1. Limit the amount of time that your child spends in front of the computer or television set before bedtime. Just like with adults, children who spend the two hours up until their bedtime performing “overstimulating” activity can have difficulty falling asleep due to too much brain activity. Tell your child that there will be no video or computer games allowed before bedtime, and stick to this rule. You should notice a difference in your child’s sleeping patterns almost immediate.

2. Have a consistent bedtime, even on the weekends. A child’s body clock is a delicate thing, and can easily be disrupted if your child sleeps in too much on the weekends or goes to bed too late at night. Have your child go to bed and wake up at the same time everyday – if your child has exhibited particularly good behavior, award him or her by pushing back bedtime by an hour and a half; however don’t go any more than this, or you’ll disrupt your child’s body clock!

3. Have your child’s bedroom be used specifically for sleep only. If your child spends his or her time on the bed playing video or computer games, he or she will associate the bed with fun activities. Create an environment in the child’s bedroom that encourages sleep – for example, don’t have a computer in your child’s bedroom, avoid leaving bright lights on and keep the bedroom at a cool temperature. The goal is to have your child realize that going to bed is equated to falling asleep, so try to prevent other activities from being done in your child’s sleeping environment.

4. Avoid feeding your child a diet of mainly sugar and carbs. Sugar will cause your child to become hyperactive, which is especially detrimental towards getting a full night’s sleep. Carbs are still necessary for a child’s diet, but avoid feeding your son or daughter only carbs a few hours before bedtime, since this slowly burns off energy that will keep your child awake.

5. Get your child to exercise during the afternoon, as this will make his or her body tired just in time for bed. However, don’t exercise within a few hours of bedtime, or else your child will still be on an energy high!

Getting your child to sleep through the night doesn’t have to become a production. Just follow these simple tips for maximum effect, and your precious angel will soon be getting the nine to ten hours required for his or her healthy development.

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ADHD alone is difficult to deal with, but ADHD comorbid (or combined) with ODD (oppositional defiant disorder) creates chaos.

If your child periodically talks back defiantly, slams doors, acts stubborn, and blows up but has some control to calm himself down, feel remorse, and accept consoling and logical explanations, he does not have ODD.

What is ODD?

If your child is hot-headed, gets angry frequently, loses his temper, is spiteful and vindictive, deliberately annoys people around him (at home and school alike), argues with adults, defies you, and refuses to carry out rules and adults’ requests, be forewarned.

If he is easily annoyed by others and overreacts to remarks by others, but never owns up to his mistakes because they are always somebody’s fault, this is a kid with full-fledged ODD.

This is not a phase that will pass. He cannot control these behaviors. He does not feel remorse for causing the hurt feelings and chaos in his environment.

He definitely needs treatment and may need additional medication (beyond what is prescribed for ADHD).

What Causes ODD?

ODD rarely travels alone. Frustrated from harsh adult reactions to his characteristics, a child with ADHD will often develop ODD as a defense mechanism against adults. This is why 65% of children with ADHD develop ODD.

The child with ODD opposes adults because he had a bad experience in the past caused by adults’ poor judgment. In his opinion, adults are not to be trusted. He believes he is smarter than adults so he trusts only his instincts, opinions, and observations.

To feel safe, he schemes to control, dominate, and manipulate his environment. He believes he is the only one who can take care of his welfare so he thinks only of one thing, “What’s my payoff?”

How to Change Your Child with ODD

Now that you know the “thinking errors” of defiant children, you need to adopt new ways to cope with and solve your child’s behavior problems.

To change your child with ODD, you need to do the following: *Provide structureto make his environment orderly and predictable. *Talk and act assertivelyGive short instructions and responses. This one technique will cut down on screaming and yelling in the house. Learn proper child discipline for children with ODD. *Tell him how you expect him to behave. Be his model. Train the values you want him to demonstrate. *Set up a token system (behavior chart)to convince him he is being paid for improved behavior.

You CAN Solve This

It sounds simple and it is if you can find the right guide with sound parenting advice. If you are ready to adopt new ways to cope with and change your child, I invite you to use these parenting tips to get started.

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“Time out” is one of the best ways to discipline children of all ages.

It comes hand in hand when the shouting and crying for whatever reason brings us to breaking point, well, its either Time Out or bring in the big guns for full scale war. At this point, the only realistic decision when all else has failed “Time Out” discipline technique is the answer, to help save your sanity.

The Method…

Time out is simple; the parent approaches the offending junior in a calm quiet, but stern way without losing your temper or any commotion at all.

Then put your child in a room on his own, let him know his behavior won’t be accepted and putting him in Time Out is to give him a chance to think about his behavior. Remember this practice is not meant as a punishment but to allow time for the unhappy members to cool down.

It is much easier to use this method while things are still in the early stages of declaring war, rather than to patch up casualties from the final blow.

Where Is Best For Time Out?

Once Time Out has been decided, now where best to put him. Well naturally, it would be his own room, or may be on a chair and made to sit their while others are around, but the aggravated child must remain seated until you are happy, his behavior is calmer.

A lot of professionals would frown upon this choice because they think the child will end up having a fear of his room since it is associated with punishment and later cause problems with sleeping. As much as this sounds very feasible in theory it is not the cause in practice.

Never Lock The Door…!

Time out is not to be used as a punishment; once our child cools off we usually enter the bedroom and ask if he can behave in the correct manner, normally “yes” is the answer and with that he is out of his room.

If by chance the answer is “no,” then leave him in his room and say, ” he is to stay there until such time he can behave himself”.

The door must not be locked; this only gives children the feeling of entrapment, locking the door frightens all children.

Ensure They Can Get Out Of Their Room…

Children need to be able to exit their bedroom once the cooling off has been done at their discretion.

If the door is sticky or has high handles, this needs to be considered to allow your child easy exit the room without any frustration, maybe leave the door open a little or put tape over the door catch, so when your child is ready he can come out of his room without your assistance.

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