How to Discipline Your Child

Hollywood doesn’t want to admit it, but numerous studies have shown that children become more aggressive, angry and even sometimes violent when they are exposed to television violence and the results are seen almost immediately. Children’s minds are very impressionable and they learn by modeling the behaviors of those around them. Think of a baby learning to talk. The baby learns to talk by copying first sounds, then words and phrases and finally sentences. Children learn just about everything from watching the world around them and that includes what they watch on TV.

If they are watching television programs where violence is shown as the answer to every problem, they are more likely to react with anger, aggression and violence to the circumstances in real life. This is a very unhealthy pattern to begin as a child. Children need to be shown the proper way to deal with anger both in real life and on television. Many of the old-fashioned television programs did an excellent job of this. The main character almost always faces some sort of crises, makes the wrong choice and has to learn a lesson from it. Often the end of each program showed the parents talking to the child about how they could’ve handled the problem differently.

Does this mean that we should never let our children watch any programs with violence? It is something to consider, to be sure, but depending on their content and message, watching some of these programs together may provide the opportunity to talk about dealing with anger in more constructive ways. Having the opportunity to evaluate why the characters behaved the way they did and what the outcome could’ve been if they had made better choices may help your child to deal with angry feelings more effectively.

Television violence certainly affects children, but maybe not as much as our own behavior. Even more important than what our children are watching on TV is what they are watching in our own homes. It is important to model good behavior, including being able to admit when you are wrong and apologizing. Never expect a child to do something you don’t teach them to do through your actions. Actions not only speak louder than words, they teach far more effectively as well. Letting good behavior rule both in real life and on the television set will greatly increase your child’s ability to handle themselves appropriately.

Studies have definitely taught us that television violence affects our children. How much is too much? Certainly children should never watch violent programs that are intended for adults. Most of the time adults would be better off not watching them either, but the violence is too real and can cause not only aggressive and violent behavior, but depression and anxiety as well. Even children’s programs that focus on violence, such as Power Rangers, should be monitored and viewed with caution. If your child acts out after watching these programs, that is a good sign that they shouldn’t be watching them. Common sense needs to be the guide, but take the time to be aware of the connection between television violence and anger problems and using opportunities to communicate with your child can make all the difference.

My Foreign Bride

Amy was just putting away the groceries for the day when her daughter, Elizabeth, walked into the kitchen demanding the latest iPhone. Amy patiently told her daughter that she had already received another popular – and equally expensive – phone a few months ago; what exactly was wrong with it? When Elizabeth said that all the “cool kids” had the iPhone, Amy felt at a loss for what to do. How exactly did her child get so spoiled to the point where what she “had to have” a few months ago now was just another worthless and outdated piece of junk?

Like it or not, Amy’s not alone in attempting to cope with a spoiled child. Thanks to a culture of materialism, many children now more than ever expect “basics” like incredible gaming systems, the latest cell phones and even the nicest cars available. This turns into the parents buying what seems like an impossibly high mountain full of clothes, toys, gadgets and other items that will only be abandoned months later in favor of the newest trends to hit the mall. If this scenario sounds familiar to you, then you need to do everything in your power to “unspoil” your child before he or she reaches adulthood – after all, a spoiled adult is generally unsuccessful in both professional and personal pursuits, and will find it hard to maintain a lasting relationship.

Before unspoiling your children, you must first need to acknowledge that your own behavior is a primary cause. Many parents buy loads of stuff for their children because they feel guilty for working long hours, or they feel as though buying things is another way of showing affection and love. Not so, say most child experts. You’ll need to work on your own views of love and feelings of guilt before you can expect to successfully “unlearn” spoiled behavior from your children.

Next, you’ll need to set limits with your children – and stick with them! Consistency is key in any form of discipline, especially when it comes to children. So before you cave in to your child’s demands, think about the behavior that you’re demonstrating to your son or daughter – if you flip-flop, you’ll only teach your children that if they stick with it, they can eventually get what they want from you. Sure, your children will throw temper tantrums when you suddenly refuse to get them what they want, but here’s a little secret that they don’t want you to know: children quickly get over disappointments! If your child ignores you or acts angry, let them do so, but have them understand that under no circumstances will you relent on your limits.

Another great way to unlearn spoiled behavior is to have your children get involved with a local charity or volunteering organization. Often, spoiled children aren’t exposed to those with less means than themselves, and find it hard to realize that not everyone is as fortunate as him or her. Spend your weekends with a worthy charity cause or at a homeless shelter, and your child will soon learn that he or she is blessed to have just food on the table and a roof over his or her own head.

Remember, when it comes to unlearning all kinds of bad behavior, consistency is key. Once you’ve set your limits with your child, don’t relent, no matter how tempted you may be – after all, relenting sends the wrong message to your child and will only make the spoiled behavior worse. Above all, don’t forget to praise your child for showing improvements in his or her behavior!

Kenyan women

I’ve always found it strange how children born of the same parents and raised in the same household environment can have such differing personalities.

My two boys are a prime example. One has always been a more vocal, more aggressive personality; the other more mellow and laid-back. And I don’t believe it was the result of how they’ve been raised.

Even now, as teenagers, their differing personality traits are still evident. But it was definitely a challenge to handle and parent the more aggressive of my two boys when he was young. So, I thought I’d share some of what I found out about parenting such children.

First, it’s important to understand why children might display aggression or anger. It has to do with language skills, or lack thereof, in young children. Aggression, via actions and temperament, can result because young children do not have well-developed language skills. They may understand what’s being said, but they don’t have the ability to then express themselves verbally with the same degree of competence. That leads to feelings of helplessness, since the child’s feelings cannot be adequately expressed through language. As a result, they “act out” those feelings of frustration, helplessness and anger.

What can you do about it? First of all, you should make sure your child’s language skills are at a normal stage of development, as opposed to being hindered by some sort of disability (hearing, learning, etc.). Even though linguistic skills in children tend to develop at different rates, if you suspect your child’s aggression might be the result of a physical and/or learning disability, consider a visit to a speech pathologist or neurologist to rule out such possibilities.

When talking to your child about aggression, it’s important to use age-appropriate language the child can understand. Begin by first exploring the child’s feelings, and using the words he/she does know to express those feelings, rather than expressing them physically (hitting, biting, etc.). You may even try some role-playing with the child to demonstrate how you would like the child to behave when expressing negative feelings.

Also, be aware of two very important role models that may be working to instill the wrong behavior in children: your family, including any older children in the household; and, of course, the TV. There’s a great deal of conflict and violence on television, and it can often translate into emulated behavior in children. Similarly, the way you and your spouse express emotions and settle disputes can also have a big influence on your children, so keep that in mind. Even changes to a parent’s normal routine (a work schedule, for example) can trigger aggressive behavior in a child, so take this into account as well should you see a sudden change in your child.

Lastly, understand that, like adults, children need to feel they have some control in their lives. Aggression is often the normal approach a young child uses to gain or regain control, so instilling a sense of self-control in children, and consistently reinforcing this over time:

• through your conversations, expectations, occasional interventions, role modeling and discipline

• will help your young children limit or eliminate any aggressive behaviors.

Thai love

Spare the rod and spoil the child one proverb says. needless to say, children ought to be disciplined to shape them into responsible citizens.And this responsibility squarely rests on the children’s parents.

The following tips can help you go about teaching your child right from wrong:

Educate your children about the consequences of bad behaviour. It is common that children ,especially the younger ones act out of ignorance.They do not comprehend the grave implications of bad behaviour like escaping from school in the thick of the night.

You ought to express your disapproval regarding the bad behaviour elements they indulge in.This is better than broading over the issue and doing nothing about it. If you are uncomfortable with the friends they keep, let them know and explain your reasons.

Give them an opportunity to explain themselves.

State in no unclear terms that there are consequences of bad behaviour which you willnot hesitate to implement when they misbehave.

Donot stop at making empty empty threats.Children even toddlers are capable of taking advantage of this inconsistency to misbehave.

The methods of discipline you choose should be effective.fo For example with holding toys or favourite playtime activities from toddlers as on way of disapproval of certain behaviour. That is refrain them from indulging in bad habits they may be found of.

The mode of discipline should depend on the age group dealing with canning a one year old just willnot do it.

After deciding on a method, make sure that you are consistent in using it. if for instance the punishment for staying out late is grounding the child, follow through time any of the other children behave this way. Failure to do so will make your children think that you are taking sides.

The age at which you start disciplining is important. You begin as soon as the child starts showing undesirable behaviour and this could be as early as two years of age.

Both parents agree on similar methods of punishment. If you and your spouse donot, chance are that children will manipulate either parent are high. In the end, no disciplinary measures will be taken.

Learn to stand firm, especially when it coms to dealing wity your child’s tantrums. Children should be taught that they cannot always have their own way.

Help your child deal with frustration of not having their way least the bottled up anger manifests in graver consequences.Encourage them to cry but this shouldnot bring your guard down.

While addressing bad behaviour give alternative ways in which you would like your child to behave.You could for instance say, donot play outside when its late, but it is okey during the day.

Toddlers have a less concentration span so when giving instructions ,make them clear and simple.

Donot take sides when dealing with conflict among your child. Let each child give their side story of the story and ask the offender to apologise.

Tell your child that you are against the bad behaviour and not them as individuals, so that they donot wrongly believe that you **** them.

Donot raise your voice or act on a bad situation when you are boiling  with anger. You could badly beat up your child or say things you will regret.

When you notice undesirable behaviour, donot rush to punish the child. Always start off with a warning and then act when it is not heded.

Reward positive behaviour to act as an incentive to avoid trouble.

Compliment your child, especially when you notice an effort on their part to follow the rules.

Set a positive example. Children will always pick more frome their parents do than from what they say.

Children and discipline techniques can be confusing. It is often difficult for a parent to select a discipline method that they are comfortable with and one that will work with their child. Discipline needs to begin at a very young age. It needs to start when the child is old enough to realize and to understand that they misbehaved. Discipline does not involve yelling and screaming. It is important for parents to find a discipline method that is age appropriate and effective for their children. Children should understand why they are being disciplined. This takes more time initially, but it is important for them to learn what they did that was wrong, what they should have done, and what they can do to not repeat it again.

It is important to be clear with your children and the discipline methods you are using. Discipline should be focused on the specific behavior and not on the child. For example, when disciplining a child, you want explain to them that their behavior was bad when they did a certain thing, rather than telling the child that he or she is bad for doing the wrong thing. Discipline should focus on the behavior at all times. Children and discipline should go hand and hand with each other.

When it comes to children and discipline, it is very important not to combine discipline with rewards. This can send confusing and mixed messages to the child. For example, if a child is disciplined for fighting with his brother and then the parent immediately hugs and kisses them because they feel guilty, the child will become confused. And, the child will not learn from the experience because of the mixed message they received from their parent. Every parent wants their children to like them, but it is important for a parent to remember that they are the parent and not the friend.

Finally, when thinking of children and discipline, it is vital for a parent to stand their ground and to not make idle threats. Follow through is very important. If a parent tells their child they will be disciplined, they need to follow through with the discipline. Parents also need to stay strong and not be swayed by tears and begging. Discipline is teaching your children the essentials skills that they will need to be successful in life. Discipline has to start when children are young. If you wait until they are teenagers, then it’s too late.