In lay circles, I commonly hear children being described as attention seeking, manipulative or doing things deliberately to ‘get at’ their parents. Parents are advised that they can’t ‘give in’ to children and must ‘come down hard’ on their behaviour because otherwise it will keep happening. In the education sector, this view is translated into the exhortation that a child has ‘got to learn’.

Cognitive behavioural theory

The assumption behind this demand is that children will not mature, grow or develop naturally but must be forced to do so right now. Similarly sour views of children are often promulgated by even those commentators with credentials that might suggest a more informed opinion, such as the following (which I have embellished with italics):

• ‘Kids, when they are little, are in a way sort of nuts! They are not born reasonable and unselfish, they are born unreasonable and selfish’.

• ‘When students are not given the limits they need, they will act up in order to make the adults around them take notice’.

• ‘Children are not born good; they have to be disciplined, otherwise they are a threat to the rest of society’.

• ‘If students are given the freedom to do nothing, that is most likely what they will do’.

• ‘Today’s youth is rotten to the core, it is evil, godless, and lazy . . . It will never be able to preserve our culture’. *

Sir Rhodes Boyson was an ex-school principal and British Conservative MP advising the government on educational policy, culminating in The Conservative Education Reform Act of 1988. It would be comforting if these negative views of young people were all, like the last one, written on clay tablets over 3000 years ago but, as you can see, the previous quotes are far closer in time to this millennium. They clearly imply the belief that children will not choose to put in effort to learn or engage in prosocial behaviour unless forced to do so (Kohn 1996a). To that end, punishment is typically used either to incite people to improve their behaviour in future, or to achieve retribution for a past wrongdoing. While the first, utilitarian, purpose might seem the more likely in schools, Weiner reports that punishment is instead commonly applied as retribution, particularly when students’ failure is perceived by their teachers to be volitional. Even when punishment is used for utilitarian purposes, Kohn (1996a) questions the underlying assumption that children are so intent on behaving badly that they will not desist unless inflicted with pain.

Thinking of children in these harsh terms inexorably leads to authoritarian attempts to control their behaviour. Paradoxically, seeing children as fragile also leads to the same conclusion, justified by the claim that they ‘need’ limits to feel secure (see, e.g., Trusty & Lampe 1997). Not only is this ageist (such generalisations would be questioned if applied to adults on the basis of their sex, race or culture), but there is no evidence for the claim. It confuses limits with structure . Thus, in the absence of evidence about its truth, humanists reject what Miller (1987) terms this ‘poisonous pedagogy’ and assume instead that children are equally capable of altruism as they are of being thoughtless. This assumption, although also unprovable, seems logical in the face of statistics that there are more murders of people aged under one year than there are of people aged over one. It would be self-destructive if babies were programmed to threaten the goodwill of the caregivers on whom their survival relies, so it is assumed that they are instead programmed to try to work in with adults.

Unfaithful Wife

Looking for infant education advice? Wondering why are some children are easier to discipline? It took educators more than 20 years of parent and baby watching to get the answer. Their conclusion is the deeper the parent-child connection, the easier discipline will be. And this connection starts to form at infant stage, and it depends on your infant education style. If you just had a baby, now it’s you time to start to build a solid connection with your baby. To help you appreciate the relationship between connection to your child and disciplining your child, In this page I will share with you some infant education tips:

1)Respond to your baby’s cries

Before your actually hold your baby in your arms you will wonder,”how will I always know what my baby needs?” You will learn quickly because your baby will let you know. The key is to listen and observe. Babies are born with their earlier and strongest language which is Cry. A baby’s cry is designed to ensure that his needs for food, holding, rest and social interaction are met. Your baby’s cry also builds up his parents’ parenting skills. Responding to your baby’s cries is your first practice in discipling your baby. Therefore, when your baby cries, pick him up and comfort him. Don’t waste your time wondering, ” Will spoil her?”, Just do it.

2) Breastfeed your baby

There is a special link between breastfeeding and discipline. Promoting desirable behavior requires that you know your child and help your child feel right. Breastfeeding helps you get to know your baby and provide the response that helps him feel right.

3) Wear your baby

Beginning in the early weeks, hold or wear your baby in a baby sling for as many hours a day as you and your baby enjoy. babywearing improves the way babies feel. The carried baby feels like a part of the parent’s world. babywearing helps the baby feel included and important, which creates a feeling of rightness that translates into better behavior and more opportunities for learning. The brain is stimulated through motion, increasing the baby’s intellectual capacity, a forerunner to the child’s ability to make appropriate sensory-motor adaptation in the future.

4)Play with your baby

What does playing have to do with discipline? you may wonder, play helps you know your baby’s capabilities and age-appropriate behaviors at each stage of development. It sets the stage for you and your baby or enjoy one another. It opens the door to a valuable discipline tool you will need at all stages of your child’s life—humor. To smile, laugh, and giggle your way through a situation sidesteps a conflict, gets the child’s attention, opening his mind to your discipline. Playing together gives your baby the message ” you are important to me.” a valuable feeling for growing self-esteem.

5)Share sleep with your baby

Every family needs to work out a sleeping arrangement where all sleep best, and many educators believe nightmare environment that can best strengthen your parent-child attachment allows for baby sleeping near you. and also share sleep with your baby, baby’s overall physiological system works better when baby sleeps next to the mother. The cardiorespiratory system is more regulated, less stressed, less anxiety.

6) Become a Facilitator

At each stage of development, a child needs significant people who care about him and whom he cares about. These people act as facilitators, helping the child learn how to conduct himself in the world. The facilitator anticipates what the child needs at each stage of development in order to thrive. Thinking of yourself as a facilitator keeps you from hovering over and smothering your child with overprotection. Being on standby as needed helps you and your child negotiate an appropriate level of independent.

A healthy attachment in infancy is likely to turn out a healthier adult. How a mother and infant spend the first year together makes a difference, probably for the rest of their lives.

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